Competing With Ms Perfect
by Gunsmoke N Cigarettes
Summary: When Spike returns with his blonde angel, Faye feels that she always pales in comparison to Ms. Perfect. Can she prove to Spike that she can be otherwise?SxF, and now upped to M because of upcoming lemon! Chap. 5 UP!
1. Chapter 1

Title: Competing With Ms. Perfect

Author: Gunsmoke N Cigarettes

Summary: When Spike returns with his angel, Faye feels that she always pales in comparison to Ms. Perfect. Can she prove to Spike that she can be otherwise?

**A/N:** Hello, beautiful reviewers! This is a co-written story by **The Infamous Bounty Hunter** and **Kendra Luehr**! We both hope that you'll enjoy, and of course, read and review! Love you!

(Warning: Coarse Language)

**CH 1**

Cradling his blonde angel against his chest, Spike smiled to himself as he piloted the zip craft into the hangar; at last they were home.

Faye looked up from her cheesy romance novel as the hangar door opened. She cocked her head to the side, somehow instantly knowing whom it was: Spike.

Not wishing to be seen, she dropped her book onto the couch and sped for her room.

Julia, meanwhile, led her lover in by the arm, fawning all over him while peppering his handsome face with affection kisses.

"Oh, Spike," she whimpered, pulling him in for a heartfelt embrace, "I'm so happy you asked me to come with you...I'll finally get to meet your family!"

Spike smirked. "Well...they're not my _family_, family, but they're sure as hell as close to the real thing as anything."

Jet came into the commons as soon as he had heard Spike's voice. Edward and Ein followed suit, but once Edward saw Spike, she went crazy!

"Whoa, whoa, kiddo!", the mossy-haired cowboy exclaimed, pulling Julia in front of him as a shield since he figured that the child would shy away from a stranger.

Crying out, Julia screeched and squeezed her eyes tightly closed once Edward latched onto her luxurious blonde locks, squealing at the top of her lungs, "Oh, my hair! My beautiful, styled hair!"

Edward jumped off, slightly offended. "Faye-Faye never minded when Ed did that! Faye-Faye is much prettier than Screaming Blonde Lady! You're mean! Edward doesn't like you!" With that, Edward ran off, Ein trailing behind her while struggling to catch up.

Julia blinked, sourly touching the back of her head as she sent Spike a sharp glance, which he blatantly ignored.

Instead, he took his girlfriend by the waist and pulled her over to Jet, introducing warmly, "Jet, this is Julia...the love of my life. Julia, this is Jet Black, my oldest and dearest friend."

She smiled, extending her tiny hand for him to shake. "Charmed."

Jet took her hand and shook it. "Sorry about Ed...she's like that." Pausing, he hurriedly added, "Well, I'm off to work on my bonsai."

As the older man walked off, Spike couldn't help but frown. Why had his best friend just brushed off his girlfriend...the woman he wanted to marry?

Not seeming to mind in the slightest, Julia took him by the hand and leaned in to kiss him on the lips, purring seductively into his ear, "Now that I've been introduced to all your 'family', allow me to introduce you to someone who's been **_dying_** to make your acquaintance for the past three years." She lightly bit his ear lobe, causing him to shudder.

"Uuh, yeah...hehehe...I mean...oh," Spike instantly stopped his incessant babbling upon spotting Faye standing in the doorway. "Hey, there, Faye...this is Julia."

"Hello," the blonde called, waving.

Faye frowned sourly. "Get a room! I'm just here for my book." Walking in-between the two lovers she moved to retrieve her romance novel.

She was aware that she had to bend over to do this, so she did this quickly so Spike would have his attention drawn toward the action.

Julia also took note of this and felt her cheeks redden with annoyance, sending Spike a swift nudge to the ribs upon noticing that his eyes were straying.

"_Ugh_," he muttered, rubbing his torso with slight agitation. "What did I do?"

Julia merely turned up her nose, demanding crossly, "I don't know...should I leave you two **alone**?"

"What are you talking about!", Spike demanded, sending Faye a disgusted look. "I do not like that...that..." He faltered.

What _was_ she to him, anyway? At that moment, she very much resembled a thorn in his side.

Faye snarled and retorted to both of them, "Oh, it's alright, Ms. Perfect, I'm merely just getting my book. I don't want to be in a room alone with **_him_**." While Faye walked out of the room proudly, she muttered, "Perfect Bitch and Afro Ass...what a perfect combo."

Julia twitched. "Oh! The **nerve** of that woman! She seemed so nice when we met before..."

Spike glanced interestedly in her direction. "You two've met?"

"Of course! She's the one who told you I was waiting in the graveyard," Julia snapped, growing more and more irritable by the second. "If I have to deal with any of this stress _any_ longer I think I might...I might...**snap!**"

"Julia..." Spike reached out to her, but she proudly pushed him away.

"I need a shower," she muttered, stalking off towards the bathroom, thus leaving her mossy-haired lover standing there crestfallen and in absolute disbelief.

Stupid vixen...

Faye, meanwhile, had changed into a nice warm outfit, seeing that it was freezing on the Bebop. She was now wearing a violet long-sleeved shirt and some nice black pants, comfortable fleece socks adorning her feet, as well. She was toasty warm, and she loved it. She had gotten rid of that annoying headband long ago, so lately her hair hung loosely about her lovely face.

She looked very attractive, but in a conservative way; quite the opposite of her old lifestyle.

Stalking out to the living room, Faye came to the glorious conclusion that no one was there, so she giggled and leaped for the couch, bringing her novel up to her nose in an instant. What she didn't realize, however, was the mere fact that Spike had been lying on that couch and now had a face-full of Faye's hair.

"Get OFF me!", he growled, pushing her away almost aggressively.

After Faye found herself on the floor, she looked up in absolute surprise. "I didn't know you were there! I swear!" She held up her hands in defense.

Sighing, Spike placed his hands in his pockets, then leapt up and to his feet, muttering sourly, "You can keep the damn couch...I'll be in my room." Pausing, he took one quick look at her, then quickly headed toward the hallway, only to be intercepted by Jet.

The balding man stared at him, then stared at Faye, giggling on the couch. Jet shrugged; it wasn't his business what they did.

Spike noticed the funny look etched out across his features and groaned. "Don't get any ideas, old man," he muttered, trying to push past him, but to no avail. "C'mon, make way...I've got a 'date' with Julia." He gave him an impish grin.

Jet looked at him with disgust. "I don't want to hear any screams or groans...and no bed squeaking. We have a kid on board."

"Who, Faye?", Spike teased, sending the vixen a sly grin.

Faye kept on giggling; she hadn't heard a word of what Spike said. The cowboy frowned upon realizing that his teasing hadn't made an effect on her.

Rolling his eyes, he pushed past Jet, only to run into Julia, her hair soaking wet from the shower and her petite body wrapped up in a towel.

"Th-th-the w-w-waater's...f-f-freeezing on here!", she squealed, rushing into her lover's arms so that he could warm her up. "Why didn't you tell me!"

Spike glanced over at Faye and frowned. "Well, guess somebody hogged all the hot water..."

Faye scoffed. "I have my **own** water heater and bathroom. Not my fault she was in the shower for so long."

"Look, I don't know what your problem is, but you need to start treating Julia with respect! She's my fiancee!", Spike growled, only to immediately realize that he had spoken his feelings.

Julia blinked, a smile suddenly coming to her lips. "F-fiancee? Spike? You mean...you want to marry me?"

Spike grinned sheepishly. "Um...**surprise?**"

"Oh!" Leaping into his arms, Julia squeezed the life out of him, giggling to herself as she locked eyes with Faye and smirked.

Faye frowned sadly and retorted, "Spike Spiegel, you don't tell me who to respect. I don't care if you two are married. I don't like her, so get over yourself." She leaned on the doorway, her arms crossed.

Spike stiffened, yet his real eye reflected something within its amber depths that could not be placed.

"Fine," he agreed, pulling Julia close, "I'll respect your decision, Faye, as long as you leave my woman alone."

Faye snorted, muttering under her breath, "Woman? _What_ woman? All I see is a slut."

"**Excuse** me?" Julia was absolutely livid.

Spike felt something snap deep within him, and whatever warmth he had felt was now gone.  
Before he could control himself, he stormed toward the complacent vixen and snatched her by the chin, drawing her face so close to his own that she could see deep within his eyes, and it chilled her to the very soul.

"Don't you **_ever_** talk about her that way again, Faye!", he growled, his grip about her chin only tightening due to his intensity. "If I catch you doing something like this again, so help me God..."

He flinched, suddenly realizing what he had done.

Releasing her as if he had been burned, Spike turned away, then immediately stalked off into the next room so as to escape his sins.

Faye let out a grunt, then snarled over at Julia, walking back to the commons where she sought comfort in her novel where everything was perfect. Jet just shook his head and ignored the blonde all together.

Julia felt something throb within her heart; pain, yet a new type of pain. She was not used to being so rejected.

Frowning, she turned, then slowly followed Spike into the shadows, sending one last hateful look over her shoulder at the woman on the couch before heading on with a new purpose.  
She would fuck Spike senseless, just to spite her.

Faye looked up to see if the coast was clear, then reached for a bottle in her pocket.

Pain killers.

Perfect.

Spike, meanwhile, was busy chain smoking in his room; as far as he was concerned, his cigarettes didn't have nearly enough nicotine to calm his nerves.

"Spike?"

He looked up. "Oh...Julia. It's you."

She appeared to be rather hurt by how he addressed her, yet nonetheless entered, a small negligee now adorning her petite figure as she slunk down onto his bed.

"Come to me?", she offered, holding out her arms.

He immediately shook his head. "No...not right now."

Julia blanched. "Not right now?"

Yes; rejection was a new thing for her, indeed.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Faye was dreaming. She saw her mother and father, both crying, crying at the mess their daughter had become. Faye reached a hand up to her face, but touched tears. She was crying for herself...

"Hey...hey, Faye, wake up."

She whimpered, only to find herself gazing up into Jet's concerned sky blue eyes.

"Having a nightmare about Spike?", he questioned, giving her a sympathetic pat on the hand.

Faye's face screwed up in disgust. "No way! I may have had a crush on the guy, but I don't dream about the fool! Besides," she added, stretching as she stood up, "I need to cook dinner. Go to the freezer, and get me out some beef cubes, ok?"

Jet gave her a rather condescending look, then nodded, instantly regretting bringing up the rather touchy subject. "Ok, but do you need any help?"

Faye laughed, shaking her head. "No thanks, Jet. I'm going to make us some yummy stew. Meat, rice, noodles, potatoes, and little dices of ham. You can watch, if you'd like."

Jet inwardly pouted. Everyone had always depended on _him_ for the chow, and now that he was constantly being replaced, he felt as if he was no longer needed.

Sighing, he shook his head. "No, thanks, Faye...I'll just...uh...read a book, or something."

"Jet, don't be that way. Hey! Maybe you can cut the meat and potatoes for me! I hate doing it...I feel like I'm going to cut off my fingers." Faye shivered visibly, and looked at Jet with expectance.

Realizing that she was offering, the balding man couldn't help but smile. She sure had a heart of gold, these days...

"Sure, kiddo," he finally agreed, "but only under **one** condition."

"What?" She asked, fearing what this condition was...

"You and Spike need to get over whatever it is that you're harboring against one another," Jet returned sternly, folding his large arms across his chest. "Are we understood?"

It was moments like these that he truly felt that he _was_ their father...

Faye's pretty face was ruined by the scowl that was immediately placed there. "I'm not harboring anything against the guy! Please, I just hate him, is all! Go get me the meat, **_daddy!_**" Letting out a growl, she then stalked over to the kitchen in order to escape their troublesome conversation.

Jet stiffened, only to call acidly after, "Be that as it may, Faye, you have _got_ to stop behaving like a child! Do you want to harbor grudges against someone that you have to live with 24-7!"

Faye stiffened, herself. "You mean Afro Ass and that wench are going to live here?" She turned to him, her shoulders drooping considerably.

"Of course that's what I mean! Do you think I can just let Spike leave without any course of action!", Jet demanded, giving her a firm glare that could have easily scared any individual shitless. "If you can't live with it, you can get out! This is _my_ ship, therefore you have to go by _my_ rules!"

"Fine! You can cook your own damn food and hunt your own damn bounties! Here's an idea! Why don't you use my room as the honeymoon suite? I'm out of here!", Faye screeched as she ran out of the room and toward the hangar, not even turning back.

Grimacing, Jet didn't even bother stopping her, realizing that there was no way to revert that woman's impulses once they were fully ingrained in her brain. He nearly jumped out of his skin, however, when a hand came down upon his shoulder from behind.

"What's going on, Jet?"

He flinched. "Spike!"

"Yeah," he demanded, giving him a curious look with his naturally inquisitive eyes. "Where's Faye?"

He looked away. "She's in the hangar...maybe you can still catch her..." He faltered. Spike was already gone.

Faye, meanwhile, was running back into the living room. She had left her damn shoes by the freaking couch!

"Jesus!", Spike exclaimed, nearly colliding headfirst into her lithe being upon her entrance. "What are you doing, woman! You're insane!"

Faye simply side-stepped him in response, then continued to run into the living room that seemed so far away.

"Hey...wait!", he exclaimed, irritably furrowing his brow before stumbling after. "Where the hell do you think you're going!"

"Home," She returned wistfully, not even turning to give him a second glance.

"Faye," Jet began softly, "you **are** home..."

"And surrounded by people who love you very much."

Spike stiffened..._Julia_. Where had _she_ come from, and why had she just said that?

"Lies!", came Faye's harsh reply came, immediately turning to run back into the hangar. Forget about the fucking shoes, her mind chanted. Just get out of here!

Spike groaned. "Faye, c'mon! Are you just going to leave because of my fiancee!"  
Noticing her pause, he added, "The girl I knew wouldn't let something as simple as this get her down...you really **have **grown weak since I last saw you."

Faye was absolutely livid. "Do you think that's why I'm leaving? I'm not leaving because of you or Julia, **or** Jet! I'm leaving because of ME! I have to get better!"

"Then get better here...where you belong," Spike tried again, realizing that he, himself, was beginning to sound weak. "Don't you understand, Faye? In a weird, sick sort of way...we're family."

"No. We've never been family, and we never will. You don't understand at all." Faye walked calmly to the hangar.

Spike made a move to follow her, then suddenly thought better of it. "Fine!", he hollered, his face growing a brilliant shade of scarlet, "get lost then, you worthless woolong-sucking wench! I bet you're just going to a fucking strip club so you can actually get a job, cuz you sure as hell can't work anywhere else!"

As soon as he had uttered these unthinkable words, however, he immediately wished that he could somehow retract them.

"Fuck off, you whore dating fuck!" Faye gave him the finger, then headed to the Redtail.

Spike felt his anger return tenfold, his fist immediately smashing dead-on into the wall of the hangar, thus leaving, to Jet's tremendous displeasure, a huge dent the size of a baseball in it's wake.

"Bitch...," he whispered, quivering amidst his angry passion.

Jet's eyes widened in horror. "Spike..."

"Open the hangar, Jet! I'll come back when the two are off happily living in their fucking dream!", Faye ordered hotly, opening the cockpit before stepping inside.

Jet grimaced, then reached for the desired lever, only to immediately be cut off once Spike grasped his wrist.

"No, Jet," he urged, his grip only tightening to a terribly painful degree, "it can't end like this...that bitch has to wake up and smell the coffee! We are **all** she has! She's nothing without us!"

"Jet! Open the fucking hangar!" Faye yelled again, this time her voice stained by the oncoming tears.

Jet nodded. "Spike...I have to do this. Step aside."

Absolutely shocked by the older man's conviction, the mossy-haired cowboy moved away amidst his aura of absolute contempt, his eyes narrowing at the vixen in her zip craft as he realized, to his utter despair, that it was _they_ that needed her.

It wasn't necessarily he, himself, that needed her, but Jet and the kid were much happier with her around, and if that's all it took to keep his 'family' happy, he would damn well try and keep things that way.

"Selfish bitch," he muttered, never taking his eyes off of her livid form.

"Jet, I'm going! I'll blast open that hangar if you don't open it right now!" Faye's voice was hysterical, desperately pleading with him.

"Jet, if you do this, I'm leaving, too," Spike retorted, thus to the older man's utter dismay.

"Good God," he muttered, throwing his gaze heavenward once he realized that there was no pleasing these two.

"That's it!" Faye screeched, irefully shutting the cockpit of her Redtail. She fired up the ignition, then blast through the hangar, shattering the steel bars in a macabre of sparks and shrapnel.

"Aww, shit!", Jet cursed, smashing his cybernetic arm down onto the control unit in complete and utter disgust, "this is all your fault, Spike! Now I'm going to have to pull thousands of woolongs that we **_don't_** have out of my ass!"

Spike, on the other hand, was completely un-phased by all this. "We'll send her a bill, ok? That rotten wench deserves what's coming to her."

"You don't mean that," Jet insisted, noticing Julia's pleased expression out of the corner of his eye. "And you...what's so pleasant that makes you completely unable to stop fucking grinning?"

The smile that had once adorned Julia's pretty face immediately disappeared. "I...I..."

"Nevermind," he muttered, running his fingers through his sparse hair in disgust. "Spike, I hope you'll learn from this...you've really hurt Faye."

He shrugged. "I don't care and I never will...she can go to hell."

Jet groaned, only to bark out harshly, "Well, I'm going to go get her! When I do, no fooling around. You're going to apologize."

"Fuck that," Spike muttered, seizing Julia gruffly by the arm before yanking her over in the direction of their room. "If anything, she should be apologizing to **me!**"

"You're a damn coward, Spike! Just accept the responsibility!" Jet called over his shoulder as he walked toward his Hammerhead.

"Only when you do!", the irate cowboy retorted, immediately abandoning the idea of going to bed as he stormed into the hangar. "You should know that she wants the attention, Jet! Yet what are you doing? Why, of course...you're giving it to her by going after the stupid wench! Don't you get it! She doesn't care whether we live or die! She's the freaking coward!"

"Goddammit, Spike! She's changed! I've helped her...she's been so scared, because she's like a child! Remember that video? Faye is that person now.." Jet opened his cockpit, then climbed inside.

"What do you mean?", Spike demanded, suddenly beside himself. "Are you trying to tell me that Faye Valentine, **the **Faye Valentine isn't a selfish, conniving freeloader, anymore!"

"No..she's a woman. A _real_ woman."

Jet thought for a moment and hopped down from the zip craft. She'd come back when she felt like it. It was Faye's choice, not his.

"Sounds like you've changed, too," Spike remarked dryly, pausing to glance back at Julia, whom was suppressing a smile. "If you have such a thing for Faye, take it out on her, not me."

Jet gagged. "Faye is like my daughter! And stop being so smug, you jackasses!" Jet crossed his arms, staring gruffly at the two.

Spike couldn't help but laugh. "Yeah, sure, old man...and I'm her secret lover." The tremendous sarcasm was not lost on the cybernetic-armed man.

Jet knew he was being sarcastic, but decided to play him on it. "Oh yeah, Spike. That's why I heard the moaning coming from **your** room!"

Julia gasped. **"Spike!"**

The bounty hunter became terribly flustered, spitting out fretfully, "What the hell is your problem, Jet! I wouldn't touch that woman with a three thousand gajillion million infinity foot pole!"

Then to Julia he added, "I swear, Jules...**you're** my one and only."

Jet, however, was not done just yet. "Oh really, Spike-O? Didn't you hold her that one night? I swear I heard moaning, and if it wasn't you and Faye...maybe it was you and Ed!" Jet appeared to be appalled at the suggestion.

Spike gagged. "Good God, you are sick tonight! If you heard moaning, Faye must've been feeling herself up while thinking about me, cuz I would never!" Glaring, he added, "And why were you listening, anyway, you old pervert?"

"I wasn't listening Spike, it was so loud, that you just heard it. And now are you saying that you _did_ sleep with her?"

"NO!" Spike was absolutely miffed. "Julia," he immediately turned to her, "you know that I would never sleep with another woman, right?"

The blonde raised an eyebrow, then suddenly turned up her nose, declaring hotly, "Well I don't know, Spike...I cheated on Vicious for you, so who's to say that you wouldn't do the same!"

"**_WHAT! _**Has everyone gone complete nuts!", Spike exclaimed, ready to tear every last one of his curly locks out of his head.

"Well, my work here is done. Have fun!" Jet waved his hand girlishly, then cheerily trekked down the hall and to his room.

Spike sulked. This was war...

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**A/N:** Welp, that's it for now! How was it? Good? Bad? In-between? Please let us know whether you want us to continue or not!


	2. Chapter 2

Title: Competing With Ms. Perfect

Author: Gunsmoke N Cigarettes

Summary: When Spike returns with his angel, Faye feels that she always pales in comparison to Ms. Perfect. Can she prove to Spike that she can be otherwise?

**AN:** Hey, people! Wow! This is **The-Infamous-Bounty-Hunter**, posting the AN. Last time, it was **Kendra Luehr.** Anyways, I'm happy we got **16** reviews for our **first** chapter! Anyways one reviwer (faintscent) asks: **Um i'm wonderin...  
wha did you mean? "WRITTEN BY THEINFAMOUSBOUNTYHUNTER AND KENDRA LUEHR!" was like all of you? Like all 3 of ya?**

The answer to that is that Gunsmoke N Cigarettes is made of two people. I, The-Infamous-Bounty-Hunter, am an author on the site, as is the lengendary Kendra Luehr. So, we hope that makes it clear for you! And another reviewer (J.K.E) asked us why we made Julia a bitch. Well, we made her a bitch because we **hate **her. Please note, that Julia will be **extremely** **OOC.** We don't know how Julia acted, so don't flame us on that, because you probably don't know how she acted, either. I do hope that none of you take offense, and will keep on reviewing. We love ya all!

Disclaimer: Kendra Luehr and The-Infamous-Bounty-Hunter do not own Cowboy Bebop! If one of there uncles or aunts were a producer on the show or came up with the idea for this great anime, then maybe they'd own it. But right now, that's never gonna happen.

Warning: Coarse Language

**Chapter Two**

Faye wrapped her arms around her legs, breathing in the fresh scent of the spring flowers. She had found a little meadow with a river, so she rested here, occasionally dipping her feet into the ice cold water or rolling down the fields of the beautiful grass.

"Faye?"

Spike watched as her shoulders briefly stiffened. "I, uh...came to get you. Jet wants you back home."

"Well he can expect me home when I'm coming home", she said in a monotone voice. She watched as a trout slowly made its way down the river.

Spike sighed, placing his hands into his pockets before flopping his head back in disgust. "Can you at least _pretend_ to care about the old guy? You worry him, Faye...you're like the daughter he never had."

"I do care about him. He's my second dad. He knows everything," she replied, dipping her feet back into the water once more.

"Then why won't you end this madness," Spike demanded, feeling as if he were pulling teeth. "Don't you know I'm sorry, Faye? I didn't mean any of the things I said...at least...well..._most_ of them."

There...he finally said it.

"I don't care. He knows why I'm doing this, and you...well...you just have to find out." She reached for her pocket and brought out a cigarette and a lighter. She lit her cigarette briefly and put it up to her lips, inhaling the sweet nicotine. "You know, putting the cigarette up to your lips is like the Christmas Eve of Christmas. It's the best part, because you feel it, and you know that it's coming." She breathed in deep.

Spike nodded, a sudden smile coming to his lips. "Yeah...kinda the same feeling you get when you're complete." Having said that, he glanced back down at the vixen, shaking his head. "I know I'm speaking for all of us back at the Bebop when I say that we're not complete without _you_, Faye, so please...come back as soon as you can."

She laughed and stood up. "You don't understand Spike," she chuckled, "I'm not coming back to the Bebop."

He flinched as if he had been burned. "Wait..._what?_ But you said..."

"Yeah, I said so, but I say a lot of things. But I'm just a rotten wench for doing that, huh?" Faye laughed again, dropping her cigarette into the river, watching morosely as it got carried away by the current.

Spike grunted, suddenly seizing her by the arm and spinning her around so that their faces were only inches apart. "You had _better_ come back to the Bebop, Faye...if you don't, what will become of Jet and the others? Are you so selfish that you're willing to sacrifice their happiness?"

"Maybe. Spike, anything you say or do is not going to make me come back!" She whispered harshly.

"Alright, that's it..."

Letting out a cry, Faye felt her world become turned upside down the moment that Spike flipped her up and over his shoulder, her cries of protest ringing about within his ears as he carried her proudly toward the Swordfish II.

When he said she was going, he damn well meant it.

"God damn you Spike! Put me down, you oversized idiot! HELP! RAPE, RAPE!" Faye beat on Spike's back and kicked him in the head a couple of times.

"Quit being such a baby," Spike muttered, wincing as the pain within his head began to throb.

Throwing her into the back of his ship, he added smugly, "Hope you enjoy your cramped space, Faye...it's going to be at least 50 minutes 'til we get back."

Letting out a cry of frustration, Faye burrowed her head in her arms and began to cry silently.

Taking his comm. link off of its hook, Spike brought it up to his mouth, announcing smugly, "I've got the girl, Jet...pick up our signal so that you can come and pick up the Redtail."

There came a static-filled "10-4", then the mossy-haired cowboy cheerily placed his comm. link back into its original position and boarded the ship.

Now that things were going his way, he was absolutely on top of the world.

"I hate you," Came the tear spoken voice from the cargo hold. "I just wanted to stay there.." She trailed off, sniffling and then letting rivulets of tears come pouring down her soft cheeks.

Spike glanced back at her irritably in his rear view mirror, then shrugged. "Well, now, no need to hold a grudge," he teased, putting the Swordfish into full gear before blasting off into the great gray skies above. "Oh...and you might wanna hold onto something."

There was no reply.

Spike frowned deeply.

Faye was being such a pain in the ass lately, and, quite frankly, he didn't know what to make of it. He wanted to reach out to her, but he had never done so in the past, so he certainly didn't want to start now.

Subconsciously gritting his teeth, he tried again, "Faye? You alive? Just yelp or something if you're breathing..."

When Spike looked in the rearview mirror again, he saw that Faye was curled up in a ball and sleeping. Her face was red along with little mascara stains down along her cheeks.

"So this is the new Faye Valentine, huh," he softly asked himself, shaking his head before returning his gaze to the path ahead.

One thing was for sure; she _had_ changed.

Drastically.

--------------Approximately 50 minutes Later-----------------

Spike carried Faye bridal style into the commons, his gaze sweeping across the room before he decided to lay her sleeping form down across his favorite place to dwell: the couch.

Lying her petite form down across the beaten-up furniture, he sighed, just then realizing how tiring the woman made everything.

He poked her once, just for good measure, thinking it was funny how she rolled over and whispered, "Go away, mean lady."

He then looked over in the direction of the hallway after gazing at Faye and saw that Julia was standing there. He gave her his trademark smile, then waved.

"Hey," she returned, only to immediately scowl upon noticing whom he was standing over. "What are you doing with Faye?"

"Huh?" Spike looked down, only to realize how awkward the situation appeared. "Oh! No! Hehe..." He trailed off.

"You know what? _Don't_ answer that question," she urged, rolling her eyes before stalking over to him and sending a tremendous smack across his now throbbing cheek. "Ever since I arrived you've been putting the moves on that hooker! What is _wrong_ with you!"

Spike blanched. "WHAT? What moves have I been pulling?" He demanded incredulously, now clutching his cheek throbbing cheek. "God, I've gotten kicked in the face like 6 times today, Jules!"

"Well I'm sure you deserved it," she spat back in retaliation, giving him a rough push that sent him sprawling backwards and right on top of Faye.

_"Oof!"_

Faye woke up, startled, with a hand that was placed where a hand shouldn't be placed.

"Oh my god! Spike! GET YOUR HAND OFF OF MY FUCKING BOOBS!" Faye screeched, sending the man off of the couch with a tremendous kick to his stomach.

"AAGH!"

Smashing down against the coffee table in-between himself and Julia, Spike found his head dancing with both pain and misery as he sat their staring dumbly at the two angry women.

What on earth had he done?

"Well? Are you going to explain yourself?", Julia demanded, shaking like a leaf as she tried her damndest to pull herself together. "You just grabbed her _boobs_, Spike! Now _what_ am I supposed to believe?"

Faye was absolutely livid. "You're such a pervert!", she hissed, stomping on his hand extra hard.

"JESUS!", Spike wailed, nurturing his injured hand while sending her a fiery glance. "Will you two crazy women just _stop_ a second? Julia, I am NOT cheating on you, and Faye, for the love of God, I did NOT mean to touch your damn boobs! They're probably fake, for all I know!"

Faye's eyes welled up with tears, and even Julia felt a sudden pang of sympathy for the poor girl. Only a little, that is.

"You fucking pervert! You've probably felt enough up to tell the difference!" She stomped on his other hand lying on the floor and kicked Spike in the balls.

Wincing, Spike took the pain like a man, feeling that he deserved it. When he finally forced himself to look up, Julia was there before him, gently reaching out to touch his shoulder.

"Spike...are you ok?", she questioned sweetly, cradling his head against her bosom before stroking his surprisingly soft mass of hair. "I promise you that bitch won't get away with this...I believe you, now."

Spike's eyes widened. Only a moment before the woman had been absolutely livid and now---he didn't even know.

Faye watched all of this from the corner of the hallway. If Julia wanted to play like that, then she would have to bring it on.

Skipping over to the bonsai room, Faye felt her spirits already lifting as she prepared to tell Jet of her plans.

Humming to himself, Jet cheerily continued to prune his beloved bonsai, only to curse his very existence the moment that his clippers slipped and sliced off a very important limb.

"Dammit," he cursed, only to see Faye standing there in the doorway. "Oh...so you're back. What do you want?"

She stepped in and closed the screen behind her. "Jet, I need help. You know by this point that I like Spike, and now I'm afraid I'm in love with the Gorgio! And as for that twit, Julia, I think she's plotting some big revenge on me because Spike felt me up. I was sleeping, for God's sake!"

When all Jet did was stare, she continued irritably, "Anyway, I know you really don't like Julia, so can you help me out?"

Faye was officially pleading with him, her eyes widening with innocence.

Jet's eyes widened as well due to her sudden confession, his hand shaking slightly as he set down his clippers. "Well what would you like me to do?"

"Anything to get back at that blonde slut." Faye grinned nastily. Suddenly, Edward popped out of nowhere as if in answer to her pleas.

"AHH!" Faye screamed, clutching onto the bonsai table for support. "What the hell? How did _you_ get in here?"

"Vent." Edward pointed up at the ceiling, and, indeed, there was a vent with the screening broken off.

Jet's bushy eyebrows drew in together, then, noticing Faye's devious expression, he groaned. "Faye, you have _got_ to be kidding me...you're not thinking of using that thing to your advantage, are you?"

Faye rubbed her hands together. "Time will tell Jet, time will tell. Ed, can you hack into the Swordfish? I want to have it go out of control when Julia's in it with Spike."

Ed nodded cheerily. "Yep, yep, yeppy! Ed will do anything to help the Faye-Faye! Edward will let you in on a little secret...Edward does NOT like Julia-person. She's mean, and naggy and faggy and baggy!"

Jet blinked, despite his obvious amusement. "I'm sure this is just great and all, but what about Spike? Won't he be hurt, too?"

"Ah, think of it as payback, Jet...for all those times he made fun of you. Are you in?", Faye asked, already knowing what Jet would say next.

He sighed in resignation. "Only because you asked so nicely."

Faye and Edward cheered, then immediately began planning their revenge.

"Jet, I need you to tell Spike and Julia that you need some groceries so that Ed can hack into the Swordfish and send them somewhere on Earth. Spike doesn't know heads or tails about that place, so it'll be perfect. Everybody got the plan?" Faye asked, looking at Ed, then Jet.

Jet rubbed his balding head, acknowledging in a tired, yet condescending tone, "Sure, Faye, sure."

**  
**

--------------------------------------------------------30 minutes later-------------------------------------------------------

"Spike...where the hell are we? This sure doesn't _look_ like the grocery store!", Julia wailed, her left eye twitching ever-so-slightly as she watched the passerby cross the street and every once and a while bump into her from behind.

"Julia! I don't fucking know!" Spike tugged on his hair, fusterated that he had embarrassed himself in front of Julia.  
Absolutely infuriated at being talked to in such a tone, the blonde spun around on her heel, ordering at the top of her lungs, "Well go find out, genius! Ask those two girls over there! They look like they know what they're doing!"

The two girls that Julia was talking about, where currently arguing and snapping at each other. "Evelyn, I know where we're at! Now if you would just close your fricking trap, I could explain it to you!" The girl whipped her perwinkle colored hair in the blonde's face, and snorted loudly.

The blonde merely smirked, then adjusted her utility belt about her waist, threatening to pull out her guns by her blatant body language. "Care to repeat that?", she returned sweetly, yet just unsweet enough to be obvious that she wasn't in a good mood.

"I said shut your fricking trap! Gosh..." The blue haired girl's voice softened a little bit, and she turned to face her friend again.

"I'm sorry Evey."

"Yeah, yeah, don't get all soft on me", Evelyn muttered, only to immediately break out into an unexpected smirk once Spike uneasily sidled on up to greet them. "What, do we look like hookers to you?", she cooed, immediately dropping the sweet and innocent look. "Get lost, creep! The candy shop's _closed!"_

Rayne looked absolutely horrified and started stammering. "Sh-She's kid-kidding really!" Rayne looked Spike up and down, and thought he was cute. Evelyn gave a disgusted gag at her friend's behavior, returning hotly in response, "No, I'm not kidding! Stop putting words in my mouth, Rayne!"

Blatantly ignoring the young woman's protests, the blonde approached Spike with a fiery look in her eyes, roughly poking him in the chest with one of her laquered fingernails. "Whaddaya want, Bub? C'mon, spill it, or else I'll be forced to spill your guts!"

Spike smiled at the girl cooly, and grabbed her wrist. "I don't think you'd want to do that, _sweetheart_."

Rayne looked at Spike, and snarled, "Get your hands off of her! I mean it, creep!" She whipped out a pistol from her jacket and aimed right for his puffy head.

Before Spike could even reply, however, Evelyn had already taken her free arm and placed it onto his bicep before catapulting him up and over her head and down onto the ground in one full swoop. Stomping her right combat boot down onto his chest, she retrieved one of her battle daggers from between her breasts, questioning coolly in response, "I believe it is you who shouldn't do a thing when it comes to me, bozo, so why don't you come clean and tell us who you're working for?"

Rayne kneeled down and put her pistol on the middle of his forehead and cooed, "Yea, even though you're cute, we won't let you live if you're here to kindnap us." Rayne sighed...That sounded _soo_ stupid.

Wondering where the hell Julia was and how on earth two women had gotten the best of him, Spike glanced up at them both with disbelief in his two-toned eyes, muttering sourly under his breath, "All I even wanted was some frickin' directions to the grocery store. _Yeesh_."

Evelyn smirked, then gave him a firm kick in the side. "Sympathy doesn't come easily to liars."

"I'm not lying, dammit!", Spike growled, growing more and more agitated by the second. "See that blonde over there? Ask her! She can tell you the truth!"

Rayne got up, and kept her gun trained on Spike's head. "Hey lady," She called, "Is this your friend?"

Julia had been far too busy filing her nails from the nail file in her purse, so she was now terribly surprised to find her boyfriend lying flat on his ass surrounded by two offensively attractive females. Frowning, she returned curtly, "No."  
She figured that he had been putting on the moves, so this was what he deserved.

Evelyn grinned, turning back to Spike with a confidence that sickened him. "You heard 'em, Mr...what's your story? Fess up!"

Rayne smiled, and walked back over to Spike. She straddled his chest, and put her gun back on his forehead. "Yea, sweetie. Your friend over there says that you're lying...So tell us the truth, or I'll blow your fucking brains out."

Spike groaned, wondering what on earth he had done in his past life to give him such bad karma. Deciding that he had had just about enough of this, he punched the firearm out of the young woman's hand and kneed her in the chest so that she went flying off and to the side. Normally hitting women was against his style, but...well...not in this particular case.

Swearing, Evelyn tossed one of her daggers toward his lunging form, yet it only succeeded in slicing the side of the mossy-haired cowboy's arm.

"Julia!", he shouted, racing toward her like a maniac, "I don't care what Jet says, we're not getting the fucking groceries! This place is crawling with morons!"

Rayne got up and took out another pistol. She succeded in shooting Spike in the leg and watched as he felt to the ground. "Bastard!" She screamed.Julia saw Spike fall to the ground and her eyes widened. "Shit," She cursed, and ran over to him.

Rolling the cowboy over in her arms, she apologized frantically, "Oh, sweetie, I am sooo sorry! I thought...well...that you were hitting on those women!"

Spike balked. "What? Jesus Christ, Julia! You should know by now that my style does not include tumbling with guns and daggers!"

The blonde smiled weakly. "Um...everybody makes mistakes?"

"Yeah...some of us more than others", Spike muttered, wincing as he staggered back and to his feet without the help of his beloved. Glancing to the right, he came to realize that the two women were gone.

Good.

"Gosh Evey! That guy was pretty fucking strong. We're lucky we got away. I think..." Rayne shook her head and paid more attention to the Zipcraft she was currently driving.

"And we're pretty low on gas. Dammit!" Rayne cursed, and hit the craft hard.

Evelyn merely shrugged in response. "I don't care if he was strong or not...he's an ass. All men are _asses_." She said this with an acerbic tone that rather surprised her comrade, yet she decided not to question her sudden manner.

Propping her chin on her fist, the blonde added casually, "If it needs gas, just use some banana peels...I hear that works."

Rayne snorted and said, "Yea, but the bad thing is we don't have any bananas. We'll just contact a ship for help." Rayne pointed out a giant ship floating by.

Evelyn snorted. "That piece of crap fishing ship? You have got to be kidding me."

Rayne elbowed the girl in the side and beckoned to the gas meter on the craft. "If you want to float in space for days, months, even years with me as your only company, then you're right. If you don't than you'll shut up about it and let me contact the ship!"

"Fine", Evelyn muttered, leaning back in her co-captain's seat before motioning for Rayne to make the transaction. "So talk to 'em, already."

Rayne typed in the code for the ship and began to speak into the microphone. "Hello! My name's Rayne Rivers and my partner and I, Evelyn Muscovitz, are out of gas. If you could bring us into the ship, we'd be happy to pay you 20,000 woolongs."

Edward happened to be at the controls at the time of the transaction, so she grinned, chortling erratically before leaping onto the pilot's chair and pressing the comminications button. "Hellooooo, spooky space creatures! This is Edwaaaard, at your serviiiice!", the redhead exclaimed enthusiastically, giggling as she wiggled her arms about her clapped her hands.

"Sweet! I think I know who you are! This is Radical Edward, right?" Rayne beamed, even though the girl couldn't see her.

The redhead suddenly sniffed the communicator, growling with suspicion as if she were a dog. "Whoooo is this spooky space creatuuuure, and why does she wish to know Edward?"

Evelyn sighed, placing a hand over her face as she listened to all of this. "This is just great, Rayne...the nearest ship we come across is inhabited by a bunch of freaks. Turn around."

Rayne waved off Evelyn and began to talk to Edward. "Well, Ms. Edward, I've heard of all of your great hackings! Helping people by finding out what that disease was was amazing! Anyways, Ed, would you mind talkig to the captain of your ship to see if it's ok with she/he if we can board so we can rest a little?"

Edward thought only a split second before nodding cheerfully. "Yep, yep, yeppy, Rayne-person! Ed will go find Captain Jet-Jet!"

Somersaulting off of the captain's chair, the redhead blithely rolled into the adjacent room, only to hit the shins of the one man whom she was looking for.

"Aaaah, Jet-Jeeet! Edward found you!", the young adolescent exclaimed enthusiastically, wrapping her spindly arms about his legs in utter rapture.

Raising an eyebrow, Jet demanded rather suspiciously, "Alright, kid, what's with all the affection? Is there something you want?"

Edward nodded. "Yes, sir, Captain Jet-Jet, sir!" She immediately bestowed him with a salute. "A Missus Rayne-person and Evey-buh-devey would like to board for the night!"

Jet balked. "What? Ed, I thought I told you not to talk to strangers without my being present!"

"Come see, Jet-Jet, come see!", the girl urged, taking her hulky comrade by the arm before pulling him back into the main controls room.

Jet immediately picked up his comm. link and sat down. "Hello?"

"Why hello! My name is Rayne, and I feel you're the captain of the ship. Am I right?" Rayne's voice twinkled in and out over the scratchy connection of the comm. link.

Jet scratched his balding head, then nodded. "Uh, yeah...that's right. Edward, here, tells me that you want to board. Is this just temporary?"

He inwardly crossed his fingers, realizing how terrible things could get if he had yet more mouths to feed.

"Umm...Well, me and Evelyn are drifters..So if we were offered a place on the ship, we would contribute to helping you all. I can cook, clean, and Evelyn is pretty good at everything." Rayne hoped she could stay.

This was her one chance to study her idol.

Radical Edward.

Jet sighed, leaning forward in slight disgust. Faye wasn't going to like this...

"Yeah, ok, sure...the hangar's in the back. I'll open it up for you", he found himself acknowledging, rather shocked how he had just accepted their offer without even giving it a second thought. Flicking the switch to the hangar, he leaned back in his seat and massaged his temples.

With any luck, the Bebop would be able to retain its hot water for a little less than a week due to the over-exertion on the system as of late.

Oh, yeah. Faye definitely wasn't going to like this.

"Thanks!" Rayne flew into the hangar and parked in the empty spot.

"Evelyn, you've been quiet. What's wrong?" Rayne looked over in concern for her best friend.

"Why do you always think there's something wrong? Can't a girl just sit and think?", the blonde demanded, considerably flustered. "Besides," she added, hopping out of their craft, "something about this place gives me the creeps...like...it's all unsettling, you know?"

"I get what you mean. It's like déjà vu.." Rayne shivered and hopped out of the craft after her.She ran to the door that opened to the living room, and ran inside.

"Hi." She quietly squeaked as she saw a girl hanging down from the pipes.

It was her...it was Edward!

"Oooh! You're taaall!", the redhead observed, in awe as her golden eyes glided inquisitively over to the blonde behind her. She grinned unexpectedly. "Oh! Pretty blonde-person...not mean and nasty, like Julia-whore!" Evelyn raised an eyebrow. "Um...what?"

"Wait a minute...didn't we see a blonde today?" Rayne scratched her head, and stopped abruptly when she saw a purple haired woman step out of the shadows.

"So, Jet's picked up more strays? At least they'll be agreeable..I hope.."Faye muttered, and crossed her arms.

Evelyn mimicked the woman and crossed her arms, as well. "We'll see...as long as nobody touches my guns and daggers, I've got no reason to kick any of your asses." She smirked. "I'm Evelyn, by the way...charmed."

Faye smirked back and pointed to the other girl. "Well, I'm Faye, Faye Valentine. Who's the girl with the blue hair?"

"I'm Rayne Rivers. Nice ta meet ya." She waved to Faye and zoomed over to Ed. She began chatting with her, and the girl would laugh occasionally.

Evelyn raised an eyebrow, then shrugged it off. "She's a fan...what can I say?" Before Faye could even respond, a terribly irritated Julia and a limping Spike came hobbling into the room, several expletives and shouts emanating forth from their lips.

Upon locking eyes with the blonde before them, however, the cowboy swore brusquely under his breath. "Shit."

"Nice to see you, too", Evelyn cooed, smirking as she sent Rayne a knowing look. "Guess who's come back for round two!"

"Oh, Evey, I'm tired!" The girl whined and shot the Cowboy an apologizing glance.

"Sorry for the leg. I just don't like getting hit." She rubbed the back of her head nervously.

Spike shrugged, a sour expression etched out across his naturally handsome features. "Yeah, whatever." Turning to Julia, he requested flatly, "Take me to my room, please."

She winked seductively. "With pleasure."

"Wait a minute!" Faye barked out. "We have to be introduced to all of our crew members! Now stay put!" Spike and Julia stopped in mid step.

"JET!" Faye screeched, and Jet ran into the room. Rayne stopped talking to Edward as soon as she saw him.

He was **_handsome._**

Evelyn immediately noticed the lovesick look in her best friend's eyes and made a face.

_Here we go..._

"Hi..." Rayne trailed off, and stared into Jet's sky blue eyes.The balding man smiled, then held out his real hand for her to shake. "So you're the infamous Rayne Rivers, huh? You, uh...don't look like how you sound."

"Yeah, I know...she's pretty annoying over the comm. link", Evelyn piped in, winking in her friend's direction. "Sorry...couldn't resist!"

Rayne looked disappointed at his comment. "What do you mean..Mr.?"

"Oh!" Jet appeared to be terribly flustered, recovering sheepishly, "No, no, no, no...that's not it at all! What I meant was...uh...dammit." He looked to Spike for help, but the cowboy held his hands up in surrender, so he had no choice other than to turn back to the heartbroken girl. Laughing in spite of himself, he corrected, "What I meant was...um...you're a lot prettier than you sound. Wait, that sounds like I'm coming onto you, and I, uh...um..."

"We get it, Mr. Black", Evelyn cut in, rolling her eyes. "Your translation clearly equals 'She pretty, me too stupid to process any coherent thoughts', so just call it quits, alright?"

Rayne smiled slightly and said softly, "Thank you for the compliment. I didn't know I had an annoying voice."

Jet drooped. "Th-that's not what I meant..."

"Ok, guys, I really need to get off my leg...are we dismissed?", Spike questioned hopefully from behind, thus causing Evelyn to shoot him a fiery look that he promptly ignored.

"Uh yea. I need to speak with Mr. Black about Evelyn and I's sleeping quarters." She clearly shot everybody a look that said, "Don't bother me, or I'll kill you."She pulled Jet out of the living room by his arm and to a random part of the ship.

Bewildered, the balding man sent Spike and Faye a helpless look over his shoulder, both of whom were now smirking a knowing smirk. Groaning, he turned back toward the woman, only to realize that Evelyn was at his other side.

Oh, boy...

It had been years since he had been inbetween two women, let alone with one, so this was making matters all the more difficult.

Suddenly pushing open a door, Jet motioned toward the inside with his mechanical arm, announcing shakily, "Um...uh...th-this is your room, ladies. Hope it meets to your satisfaction?"

Evelyn peered in, then shrugged. "Sure, whatever, gramps...it's fine for now."

Jet balked. Gramps...?

Rayne stared hard at Evelyn and pushed her into the room. She shut it and leaned on the door, despite the girl's screams of protest."I'm sorry about that. She's a real loon!" Rayne smiled up at him and fluttered her eyes.

"Uh, yeah...loon", Jet agreed, nervously rubbing the back of his neck. God, he needed an anti-perspirant. Overhearing the curious mumbles in the commons, he decided that he had better return to his comrades, so he gave Rayne a brief nod, then asked hesitantly, "So, uh...you going to bed?"

"Oh no. It's way to early. Would you mind staying up with me? I need someone to talk to, and you seem like the listening type." Rayne widened her eyes like a child's and silently mouthed please.

Jet inwardly groaned. He severely disliked babysitting, yet he shrugged and motioned for her to follow him. "C'mon...let's go back and join the others."

"I'm sorry if I'm a bother. I'll go to sleep, ok?" Rayne sensed his dislike of her suggestion, and turned back to the door.

"Oh, no, it's fine...just c'mon before the others get at each other's throats", Jet insisted, smiling wearily as he began to trudge off toward the commons.

"It's ok...Good night." She winked at him and opened the door to the room. She screamed when Evelyn grabbed her and closed the door.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?", the blonde demanded, giving her an absolutely incredulous look. "Flirting with the captain? Why? It won't work to our advantage!"

"What advantage? I like the guy, that's all!" Rayne fumed, hitting the wall with her fist."Oww..." She groaned and held her fist up to her mouth, gently blowing on it.

Evelyn smirked. "Serves you right, squirt. C'mon, get into bed and dream lots of dreams of your dear Jet."

Rayne grumbled but did as she was told. "Good night, Evey." Rayne felt herself slipping into Dreamland. She snored softly, and grunted a few times.Evelyn smiled, then got into bed. "Goodnight...Juliet. Dream of your Romeo."

**---------------------THE COMMONS--------------------------**

Meanwhile, Julia hovered over Jet bandaging up her lover, her mouth in a pretty pout as she asked hopefully, "Will he be alright, Jet? He's lost an awful lot of blood..."

Spike grinned. "Babe, you've clearly never seen me in action." He did, however, feel rather woozy...

Jet snorted, and grumbled, "You fricking idiot. Those women are good at shooting, if they got you this good. Which one did this anyways?"

"The one with the blue hair..." Spike trailed off, and yawned.

Jet couldn't help but smile at this, then knotted the gauze about the cowboy's leg as a finishing touch.

"OW! JESUS!"

"Oh...sorry."

Placing a hand upon Spike's shoulder, Julia turned to Faye, accusing hotly, "If you hadn't sent us out, this would've never happened!"

"Hey! We needed groceries! It's not my fault Spike can't take a hint!" Faye stomped her foot, and her face darkened to a violet red.

Spike groaned, flopping back lazily against the couch. "Here we go..."

"Spike needs to take a hint? What about you?", Julia suggested, absolutely outraged. "You knew that we wanted some alone time, so you purposely sent us out when you could've done it yourself!"

"My ship's wrecked, you dumb fuck! " It was true. She had done some damage when she broke though the hanger.

Julia pouted, yet before she could return with a biting response, Jet was already firmly inbetween them. "Enough!", he shouted, his face red with sheer anger. "Our guests are trying to sleep, so keep your caterwauling to a minimum, alright?"

Both Faye and Julia exchanged a look and they decided to let it go for this one time of teasing Jet.

"Really now, Jet? You wouldn't say that if Rayne wasn't here!" Faye teased, wagging her finger in front of his face.

"She has a point, old man", Spike added from the couch, lazily opening an eye as a grin split across his face. "She's kinda cute...go for it."

**"Cute?", **Julia demanded, spinning on him in an instant. "What do you mean, cute?"

Spike grinned. "Ok, sorry...the blonde's hotter."

**_"WHAT?"_**

"Kidding!", he insisted, rolling his eyes before turning over so that he was facing the disgruntled group. "Can't anyone joke around on here, anymore? Sheesh."

"Not since you have a fiancé, dummy. Anyways, Jet, you should go for it. I'm totally for you on this. And she totally digs you." Faye's eyes sparkled.

"How can you be sure?" Jet gulped. The girl was cute...

"Call it Woman's Intuition."

"Faye, your woman's intuition is about as useless as Jet's missing hair", Spike gibed from behind, causing her to turn and give him a merciless smack on the head. Jet, in turn, gave him a death glare before looking back to Faye and nodding.

"Fine", he agreed, "I guess I can take your word for it..."

"Go for it, Old Man." She said, but used the word as a term of endearment.

"Welp...tomorrow. I'm beat", Jet muttered, stretching his weary limbs before letting out a heavy sigh. "I ain't as young or flexible as I used to be, after all..."

Spike grinned. "Ya got that right...are you sure you could even bed the girl, Jet?"

Julia blanched. "Spike! Why is your mind always in the gutter every time that I'm not in your arms? I could use some attention, you know!"

A slight cough came from the doorway of the living room. "Umm, hi? I came out for a glass of water." Rayne was dressed in a long pink tee, her cheeks a bright magenta.

Jet also felt his cheeks go ablaze. What had she heard?

"Ummm..." She noticed that everyone was staring at her.

"I heard the trying to bed me part. Are you guys happy?" She asked blankly.

Sending Spike a sharp glance, Jet then scratched the back of his head, apologizing weakly, "I, uh...I'm really sorry you had to hear all of that, Rayne. He was just kidding...weren't you, Spike?"

He shrugged. "Yeah, sure."

"I don't really mind it...You guys just have to lower your voices or Evelyn will wake up, and she's a _reeaaal_ bitch if she gets waken up." Rayne scratched her head, and laughed.

Spike drooped. "You'd better do what she says...I know for a God-given fact that she's telling the truth."

Rayne walked past them all, and pointed to a doorway. "That's the kitchen, right?"

Jet nodded. "Yeah...do, uh...you need any help?"

"I wouldn't mind," She purred.

Spike couldn't help but find his eyes boggling at the rather amusing display playing out before him, his mind wondering how on earth a woman like that would take such a shine to Jet. He was...well...Jet.

Feeling his face flush, the balding man chuckled nervously, then followed her, blatantly ignoring Spike's thumb's up and Faye's giggling as they entered the kitchen.

"Well, I expect to hear a loud thump in 3...2...1" And when Faye said one, a thump was heard in the kitchen.

A nervous Rayne came out of the kitchen. "I guess my shirt shouldn't have gotten caught on the chair, huh? He kinda saw my underwear..."

Spike once again couldn't help but balk. "Damn, and I missed it!"

"Spiiike!"

"I'm just kidding! God!"

Letting out an unattractive snort, Julia turned to Faye with malice in her eyes, demanding tartly, "And just how did you know that this would happen? The polite thing to do would've been to warn the poor thing."

"Hey, I want to have fun. And Jet deserves a pretty girl with him." She shrugged.

Rayne scoffed, "I'm in the room, you know."

Julia frowned deeply. "Oh, I think she knows, dear...she's just bent on getting you and that bald guy to canoodle like rabbits. I hope you like kids...Jet does!"

Ed popped out of nowhere and said, "Edward resents that!" Rayne and Faye both giggled, and Spike joined in, chuckling slightly.

"Ed resents what? Kids or rabbits?", Julia demanded, not finding humor in the situation at all.

"About Jetty-Jet liking kids. Julia-Whore implied that was the only reason Ed was here!"

Julia's eye twitched ever-so-slightly due to the 'Julia-Whore' bit, returning tartly, "Well as far as I'm concerned...sweetheart...that is the only reason you're around!"

"Alright, that's enough you two!", Jet growled, immediately intervening, knocking Rayne in the backside in the process. "Oh...uh...sorry." He immediately flushed.

Rayne blushed. Turning to Julia she said loud in clear, "Who knows why you're here. All I think you know what to do is fuck and insult great geniuses like Edward! She's smarter than you'll ever be, you fucking whore!"

"Oh! Spike, are you going to let her call me that?", Julia demanded, leaping up from the couch in an instant. She was absolutely livid.

Suddenly feeling cornered, Spike allowed his eyes to dart from one seriously perturbed woman to the other, recovering rather pathetically, "Um...well...gee, Rayne, that wasn't very nice. You think you could apologize?"

Julia was absolutely incredulous. "_Apologize? _Spike, she needs to do so much more than that!"

"Well she needs to apologize to Edward! Look at the girl, she's going to cry!" Two great pools of crystal like tears welled up in Ed's eyes over Julia's comment.

Faye was in the background, laughing. She was sure glad Rayne was around to help her insult Julia.

Fuming, the blonde immediately sped off toward her and Spike's room, not even looking back.

Sighing, the mossy-haired cowboy moved to go after her, yet Faye immediately stopped him. "She can take care of herself...she's a big girl", she insisted, smiling.

Spike couldn't help but smile, as well. "Sounds good to me...I hate babysitting, anyway."

**---------------------END OF CHAPTER TWO--------------------------**

So, I hope that was ok. The two new characters are named Rayne Rivers and Evelyn Muscovitz. They are from the BebopRPG on LiveJournal, and Rayne Rivers is The-Infamous-Bounty-Hunter's made up character on the RPG abd Evelyn Muscovitz is Kendra Luehr's made up character on the RPG. A description of the characters is down below, just so you don't get confused on what they look like.

**Rayne Rivers**

**Age: 21**

**Sex: Female**

**Height: 5"8 (IN RPG IS 6"2)**

**Hair Color: Perwinkle, Originally Black**

**Hair Length: Shoulder Length, Originally Waist Length**

**Hair Type: Straight; Wavy**

**Eye Color: Violet**

**----------------------------------------------------------**

**Evelyn Muscovitz**

**Age: 22**

**Sex: Female**

**Height: 5"5**

**Hair Color: Light Blonde**

**Hair Length: About 2 Inches Below Her Shoulders**

**Hair Type: Straight; Wavy**

**Eye Color: Brown or Blue (I don't really know lol!)**

So there's the characters! Read and Review! 3!


	3. Chapter 3

Title: Competing With Ms. Perfect

Author: Gunsmoke N Cigarettes

Summary: When Spike returns with his angel, Faye feels that she always pales in comparison to Ms. Perfect. Can she prove to Spike that she can be otherwise? SxF, JxOC

AN: Hey, everybody! I'm sorry that's it's been so long. Anyways, CWMP is now M rated! Hooray! Anyways, this is because the language will start to become more coarse, and there will be a lemon (hopefully) between SxF. So, keep on reviewing!

Disclaimer: Gunsmoke N Cigarettes do not own Cowboy Bebop. Now, leave us alone!

Warning: Coarse Language

**Chapter Three**

Rayne slumped down on the yellow sofa in the middle of the commons and coughed. Spike and Faye were sitting next to her, and both were smoking.

_Surprise, surprise._

"Could you guys please stop? I wanna stay alive, here!", she requested hotly, giving a slight pouted.

"Go to your room, then! It's_ our_ commons!", Faye growled, tapping the ash to her cigarette against the arm of the couch before purposely blowing her cancerous smoke into the girl's face.

Rayne snarled, then grabbed the cancer stick out of Faye's mouth. "Listen, I can stay wherever I want!" She smashed the cigarette in her hand, not saying anything when the embers burned her.

Faye snorted, yet made no verbal protest, which deeply surprised Spike. Giving her a funny look, he demanded sourly, "What, so you're just gonna give up and let that wench rule the roost?"

"Well I can't very well tell off Jet's future fiancee...it could cause future problems", the vixen returned smugly, thoroughly enjoying Rayne's current facial expression.

"We..I...oh, just get that smug shit-faced smile off your face, Spike. You got your own freaking wench to worry about!", Rayne growled peevishly in response.

Where was Evelyn when you needed her?

_"Excuse_ me?", Spike demanded, thoroughly insulted. "Maybe if you and Jet could keep your freaking hands to yourself, Julia and I wouldn't have to intervene all the time!"

"WHAT? Jet and I haven't been near each other! Just a little hand holding, that's all!" Rayne screamed in outrage, pouncing on Spike.

"Arggh! Get the hell off me!"

In a blur of color, the two tumbled, Faye holding a hand to her face in disgust as she muttered, "Can you guys keep it down? I'm trying to watch Big Shot!"

Sending Rayne a swift push, Spike sourly rose back onto the couch beside the vixen, then shot a glare at the young woman who moved to sit back down beside him.

_Bitch._

_"That's right, Judy! We've got some hot hot hooot bounties for you today!"_

_"Ooooh, really, Punch? What are they, what are they? I hope they're as dreamy as the last two!"_

_"Nope, sorry! These two babes are assassins...double the trouble! Ahahaha...yeah, sorry, I know it wasn't that funny. But anywho, these little fire crackers are named Rayne Rivers and Evelyn Muscovitz. Both women are wanted for 500 million woolongs each due to their excessive murdering and manslaughter."_

_"Ooooh, Punch! I could buy a new diamond-studded bra with that!" _

_"You wear one? Well shucks howdy!"_

_"Puuunch!"_

_"Yeah, yeah, sorry...here are the pictures of these fine young ladies...aren't they a couple-a beauts? Especially that blonde one, mmm boy! Well I could just-"_

_"Puuunch! How many times have I told you to stop drooling over women who aren't as pretty as me?"_

_"Ok, ok...that's our show, amigos, so go out there and get hunting!"_

_"Sayonara!"_

Rayne trembled slightly under the shocked expression of Spike and Faye. Her picture was different back there, but you could tell it was her. "Um...suprise?", she told them weakly, only to immediately jump over the couch and dash off to a random part of the ship.

"Don't let her get away!", Spike exclaimed, already seizing his precious Jericho before leaping over the back of the yellow couch with the grace that only he happened to possess.

Nodding, Faye retrieved her own Glock from within the sanction of her gaudy white boot, immediately following after. If that stupid lunkhead thought that he was going to get all the fun, he had another think coming!

Rayne panicked as she realized that her only chance at hiding was the dingy little closet behind her. Taking a deep breath, she opened the door, cringing at the loud, airtight 'SWISH' noise that it made.

Spike, meanwhile, grinned in triumph, announcing enthusiastically, "Great! We're sure to have her, now...she's trapped in the closet!"

Stopping before the shut door, Faye smirked, then opened it, only to balk upon finding nothing inside. "Spike," she began, absolutely flabbergasted, "she...she's gone!"

"What? Let me see!", the mossy-haired cowboy growled, only to discover that she was right. Cursing, he slammed the door shut, pocketing his Jericho in utter frustration. Turning to face the vixen once more, he ordered, "You check the right wing while I check out the left..._move!"  
_  
Rayne sighed, then groaned slightly. She gripped the closet bar, all the while keeping up her body in a cramped handstand on the ceiling.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Evelyn sourly cursed her seemingly never-ending misfortune as she stared at her mini vid cam within the palm of her hand. She had lost the lottery. _Again._

"Worthless tickets", she muttered, tossing them off to the side before catching sight of Ein grinning his dopey-dog grin in the corner. Frowning, the blonde demanded hotly, "Well what are _you_ looking at? Never seen a girl before?"

Pausing, she smacked a hand to her face, swearing brusquely, "Jesus H. Christ, I'm talking to a fucking _dog..."_

Barking loudly in response, Ein trotted up to the disgruntled woman, than happily sniffed at her high-heeled stiletto boots.

Cocking her head to the side in a comical fashion, Evelyn suddenly came to realize that this dog seemed smarter than most, and it unnerved her.

"You like sex, drugs and cash?", she questioned, naturally curious to see if the furry beast would answer.

When Ein yipped in response, the blonde couldn't help but grin, suddenly squatting down on her haunches so that they were now face to face.

"You know what?", she asked, smiling as she fondly stroked at his ears, "you remind me of my days back with Rhint Celonias and his little dog, Vixie. Back before _she_ came...that damned, abominable Alisa!"

Nuzzling her hand in understanding, Ein forced the woman to have a seat by leaping into her lap, the blonde letting out an unceremonious 'oof' as she fell flat on her ass.

"You actually wanna hear the story, huh?", Evelyn questioned, smirking in spite of herself before scratching the dog behind the ears. "You see, I was betrayed...double-crossed, back-stabbed...all the like. This is why the only men I like are the ones that can't talk...men like you." Chuckling softly, she continued, "Alisa was apparently some other knock-off's woman, but Rhint was automatically infatuated with the twit. I, being an assassin, should've naturally blown his ass sky high, but I had a weakness for him. In fact, one day he even-" She paused. Did she hear..._footsteps?_

"Evelyn? Rayne? We need to _talk_ to you!" Came the sugary sweet voice of Spike.

Now _that's _when you know something's wrong...

Frowning, Evelyn placed a finger to her lips to indicate to Ein to be quiet, her stealthy skills immediately coming into play as she retrieved one of her prized daggers from between her breasts and slunk over to the corner of the hallway.

Peering slightly around the edge, the blonde immediately leapt out and pinned Spike against the wall, her breath hot and ragged as she demanded gruffly into his ear, "What do you want with us, cowboy? You discover our price?"

Spike smiled, cocking his Jericho. "Yes, my dear. And let's just say you and Rayne are worth a whooooole lotta woolong."

"Oh? You didn't know, already? The boys back home could've toldja that", Evelyn returned sweetly, kneeing him in the solar plexus before taking him by the inner junction of his arm and tossing him over and onto his back.

Seizing his precious Jericho from within his grasp, the blonde then aimed the firearm straight between his eyes, hissing menacingly in response, "If you don't let us go, I'll blow a hole straight through your fucking skull! I _mean_ it!"

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Rayne let out a groan of pain. She had been in this position, for what, like 25 minutes?

"Helloooo? Is somebody in heeere?", came a high-pitched, excited voice from outside the closet door. "Ed smells Raaaayne! Come on out, Raaayne!"

"Ed? Ssh, be quiet! Come inside the closet, sweetheart," Rayne urged nervously, waiting for the kid to make her grand entrance.

Instead of finding just Edward, however, the blue-haired woman was terribly shocked to find both the blithe redhead _and_ Jet standing there before her.

"Hello, Rayne", the balding man greeted solemnly.

"So I guess you found out about my bounty, huh, Jet?" She asked, swinging out of her position. She stumbled a bit, then opted to just sit on the floor.

He shrugged his broad shoulders, returning softly, "I was actually hoping to help you and your friend escape...I've been searching everywhere for you."

"I don't want to leave the Bebop, Jet...It's the one place that actually feels like home," Rayne said softly, and looked up at him.

"Hooome, rooooam, croooome!", Edward chortled erratically in response, thus somewhat destroying the sentimental moment.

Coughing, Jet returned anxiously, "Well, uh...what do you want me to tell the others?"

"Tell them that they can turn me in...just leave Evey alone..." She trailed off, and stood up shakily. "I'm going to miss you guys."

She stood up, now prepared to leave.

Sighing, the balding man led her into the other room, only to find Spike at gunpoint. "What the...?"

"Tell Evelyn to get the hell off me!", He shouted at Rayne, and gulped when he heard his gun's trigger being pulled back...

"Don't worry, I won't kill your friend, if you let us_ both_ go!", the blonde returned hotly, staring both Jet and Spike down one after the other. "And Rayne", she continued, turning to look at the girl, "wrap this thing with Jet up, already, so we can go and assassinate Alisa. You _promised!"_

She failed to notice, however, the flinch in the balding man's posture.

"Evelyn...I told you that I didn't want to kill people anymore..." Rayne's shoulders drooped as everybody found out that they were going to assassinate somebody. "You said we could quit and live a normal life, remember? That's why I colored my hair."

"B-but she took away my lover!", Evelyn wailed, tears pricking at the corners of her eyes as her hand with the gun began to shake, much to the immense displeasure of her captive. "You said you'd help me clean her clock, and_ then_ we'd quit!"

"Evelyn...you have to forget about the fucking bastard..." Rayne walked slowly to Evelyn, and hugged her gently. "Let Spike go, and we'll leave, ok?"

Biting her lip, Evelyn felt her brows furrow together as her arm slowly lowered to its rightful position by her hip, the mossy-haired cowboy's Jericho now falling from her grasp and to the ground before another word could be said.

Jet, meanwhile, was terribly flustered. "Y-you knew Alisa?", he squeaked, suddenly seeming to be a new man. "How well? Where is she? Where can I find her?"

Rayne looked up at Jet slowly. "How do you know her?" Her eyes would not show the hurt at his frantic questions about Alisa.

"I..." His mouth was terribly dry. "She and I...we, uh...we...were together. Before this Rhint guy."

He swallowed.

"Oh...well, Evey and I will be leaving. I'm sorry you guys couldn't collect our bounties", Rayne forced out, then stood up straight with her friend.

This was what she got for being attracted to a man.

"Hey, wait...what the hell do you think you're doing?", Evelyn demanded, yanking her grasp from her friend's before eyeing her strangely. "You're just gonna let this go like the drop of a hat? You like that guy, yet you don't bother asking how he feels in return? Odd... After all, you know what I'd do to show him my feelings." She grinned broadly.

"I'm not _you,_ Evey! That's the whole point! Now can we go talk about this somewhere else like, oh, I don't know..._outer space!",_ Rayne growled, throwing her arms into the air before storming off toward the hangar like a madwoman.

The Bebop crew stood there absolutely dumbfounded, wondering why they weren't taking any action against the two bounties.

Evelyn groaned, then sent them all apologetic glances. "Will you excuse me? My ride just...erm..._left."  
_  
Spike looked at Jet, then shrugged.

"Don't look at me...you brought this on yourself since you scared those two poor girls!", the balding man return gruffly, pointing his mechanical finger at his comrade before he could utter a single defense. "If you want money, I suggest you find it elsewhere! Those two are far too decent to be turned in to the ISSP!"

Spike whistled. "I never thought that you would fall so hard for a bounty."

"Speak for yourself. I see the way you look at Faye", Jet concluded.

"What? Well what about _you?_ As I recall, you're the one who let Faye stay in here like some freaking stray!", Spike returned harshly in response, suddenly terribly irritated. "In this case, it's no different!"

"Well, look who didn't stop her!" Jet shrieked, ready to tear out all of his remaining hair.

"Well how the hell could I? You're in charge, _remember?",_ Spike shot back, staring his friend down with a tint of fiery embers within his eyes unlike any ever seen before. "I don't care about Faye! She's just some irritant who eats all our fucking food!"

"Keep telling yourself that, Spike! Now if you don't mind, I have to keep Rayne and Evelyn from leaving!", Jet growled, storming out of the room before another word could be exchanged between the two.

Evelyn, meanwhile, had seized Rayne by the shoulders and was shaking her. "Snap out of it, you idiot! Why are you trying to run away?"

"Because we'll have to leave eventually! We always have to!" Rayne shouted, and started to cry.

"That's bullshit, and you know it! You said so yourself that this felt like home!", the blonde insisted, now terribly exasperated. "Wasn't it _you_ who always told me to let the past go? Well feeling this way is in the past, Rayne! Forget about it!"

"Why won't you let Rhint go?" Rayne demanded, immediately changing the subject.

Evelyn sneered at her friend, counterattacking viciously, "Well why won't _you_ let go of Jet?"

Rayne blushed in a mad outrage. "Why won't you let go of the fact that Alisa has Rhint, and you're just jealous?", she bit out harshly, regretting her outburst when she saw the color drain away from Evelyn's face.

"You're such a bitch", she whispered, her dark eyes scintillating with tears that absolutely refused to be shed as she abruptly pivoted on her heel in order to make her escape, only to run into something large and bulky. "Jet!", she exclaimed, her face now even paler than before.

Jet looked at Evelyn and then at Rayne, sighing deeply. "What the hell have you two gotten yourselves into?"

"Why don't you ask Rayne?", Evelyn suggested, sending her friend a terrible death glare. "You're the one who's so damn obsessed with her, after all..."

"Evey, I'm sorry. Really", Rayne said softly, looked at her in a pleading manner. "It just came out. You know how I am."

Evelyn snorted. "Yeah, I do..._inconsiderate."_ Turning her attention back to Jet, she returned dryly, "Oh, yeah, and Rayne thinks your one sexy mofo...go figure."

"Shut up, Evelyn!" Rayne blushed madly.

Great. She had made things worse with her best friend.

Rayne, however, wasn't the only one blushing. Jet was currently the exact shade of a tomato, his bottom lip quivering slightly as he announced rather timidly, "Well, I, uh...um...I came here to tell you two that you could stay. Hope that's alright?" He coughed.

"You aren't going to take us in?" Rayne asked suspiciously, her violet eyes narrowing.

He shook his head. "Nope, no need...thanks to a pretty hefty bounty that Spike took in not too long ago, we're going be in fairly good shape for the next month or so. Only catch is, you have to help out around here."

"I guess," Rayne agreed, "but only if it's ok with Evey."

The blonde couldn't help but smirk. "Sure! Now I can tease that stupid cowboy that Faye secretly likes but it's really not such a big secret."

Rayne chuckled, then hugged Evelyn tightly. "I really am sorry, Evey. Forgive me?"

She shrugged rather begrudgingly. "Yeah, yeah, sure, whatever...just never mention that Rhint bastard's name again, kay?"

"Alright. I promise!" Rayne made a scout's honor signal, and looked at Jet, who was watching her with wide eyes.

"What? What's wrong, Jet?" Rayne asked desperately.

"Where's Alisa?"

Evelyn glanced to Rayne, giving her a quick shake of the head. She didn't want to hear about that woman or Rhint again for as long as she lived.

"Go, Evelyn. Jet and I have to talk, ok?" Rayne nodded at the door.

The blonde knew what her friend was doing and didn't like it. At all. She primarily couldn't figure out why on earth the girl was trying to help Jet find his long lost lover; didn't she like him, too?

Finally deciding to just let it go, Evelyn gave the couple one last fleeting glance, then exited the room to head into the commons.

"Jet, what do you want to know?" Rayne asked, expecting a great feeling of despair coming to rest upon her shoulders.

"All I want to know", he revealed, taking a deep breath, "is where my Alisa is."

There. He'd said it.

"_Your _Alisa?" Rayne looked down, and let a sigh come out.

Jet nodded, not taking note of the girl's sudden depression. "Yeah...we wanted to get married, but sh-she suddenly walked out on me, only leaving behind a damned pocket watch."

"We don't know where she is. I was on my way on a double cross mission to help Evelyn kill her, but we got lost on Earth", Rayne revealed softly, not removing her timid gaze from her steel-toed combat boots.

"Oh," Jet mumbled, suddenly terribly disappointed. "I thought Evey said something about knowing her whereabouts, though..."

"We thought we did...I contacted her, but I guess she knew that Evey was with me because she heard her in the background." Rayne rubbed the back of her head.

"What does Alisa have against Evey?", Jet demanded, suddenly terribly interested. "Did they know one another in the past?"

"Alisa stole Rhint away from Evelyn..."

Jet immediately stiffened. "Rhint? You mean...he cheated on Evey for my Alisa, and then she, in turn, cheated on _me?"_

"I don't know...I wasn't involved with them...Jet, I still hope this doesn't change anything in our relationship..." Rayne looked at him directly, almost pleading with him.

The balding man gave her a fleeting glance, then ran his fingers through what little hair that remained atop his head. Sighing, he returned softly, "I don't know, Rayne...I really loved her..."

"I didn't want to hurt her, if it makes you feel better", She insisted desperately.

Jet, however, hardly even seemed to be paying her any attention. He was gazing our longingly at the constellations in front of the view port, his sky blue eyes both soft and luminescent as he reached out a hand and gently touched the glass. "Alisa..."

"I'll be going now, Jet. Evelyn can stay if she wants. Take care of her, ok?" Rayne stood up, stretching. She walked up to her zip craft and opened the cock pit.

Jet suddenly snapped back to reality as if he had been slapped, his head immediately swiveling to the side before he barked out, "Hey, where do you think you're going, Rayne? Come back!"

"Nah, it's ok, Jet. I've got places to go, people to meet. See ya." She winked at him, and flashed a smile.

Her heart was breaking.

"But...why?", he choked, absolutely disbelieving what was going on. "We all want you to stay, so please...stay."

"Hey, I can't be Alisa, so, why stay? I'd just be taking up space." She turned on the craft, smiling as it roared to life.

Jet gave her a sad look, then nodded solemnly. She was a woman, and women, he knew, rarely changed their mind. "If that's how you want it", he agreed.

"You can come, if you want, " She suddenly said, and looked at him directly.

"B-but my crew...my ship...they'd fall apart without me", Jet insisted, absolutely stunned by the sudden, yet not completely unwelcome offer. "Surely you can rethink this, Rayne..."

"I dunno. I'm not going to be Alisa..." She turned off the craft.

"I never said I wanted you to be", the balding man returned gruffly, suddenly rather irritated. "I like you to be who you were meant to be, Rayne...you're real special." He winced. That had sounded so lame.

"That was lame, if you didn't know it." Rayne smiled and hopped down, slightly wincing when her feet hit the floor.

He sighed, nodding in agreement. "Yeah, I know...heh. Glad you changed your mind, though." He smiled.

"Jet..." She trailed off, and kissed him softly.

Before he could even reply, a huge explosion of laughter came from the door, thus causing them both to whirl around in absolute horror. There, standing before them, were both Spike and Faye, clutching at their sides and practically rolling with mirth.

"Kiss me, Jet!", Spike mimicked, making a kissy face and batting his lashes, thus causing Faye to giggle furiously. "Ooh, Rayne, gimme some sugar!"

"I looove you, Jetty!", the vixen added, giving them both a googly-eyed look. "I love you, too, Rayney-Wayney!"

"Oh, that is _it!_ You two are both DEAD!", Rayne roared, heading straight for Spike. She pounced on him, and aimed a punch for his big fluffy head.

Luckily for him she missed, hitting the wall, instead. Laughing, Spike took off as Faye followed suit, both grinning like fools as they left both a terribly disgruntled Rayne and a furiously embarrassed Jet in the dust.

"Jet...Let's go kill them..Shall we?" Before Jet could answer, Rayne took off, shouting obscenities.

Smirking, Jet placed a hand over his face, then chuckled. "Oh, well..."

------------------One Hour Later-------------------------

Spike winced as Jet sewed his gunshot wound closed. He muttered to Rayne, "I don't know why you had to shoot me. _Again."_

Rayne sneered. "That's what you get, _Spikey."_

"I'm just disappointed that I didn't have the honors", Evelyn quipped from behind, leaning against the tacky yellow couch as she continued to take immense pleasure in watching the balding man stitch up his comrade. "Besides," she added," Rayne completely missed her target. I would've shot you in the balls."

Faye laughed, continuing to file her nails. She only had two scratches on her leg, which Rayne had apologized for.

"I don't see why Faye didn't get hurt at all...she teased you, too." Spike pouted, and Rayne let out a snort.

"She's a woman. We have to watch out for each other. And be happy I didn't fire a round into your balls, like Evelyn woulda done." Rayne winked at her friend.

Spike snorted, only to let out a tremendous howl once Jet tightened the knot to his stitches. "Jesus, Jet!", he swore, "don't tug so freaking hard!"

Sending the mossy-haired cowboy an apologetic glance, the balding man returned rather crossly, "Well if you hadn't moved, you'd be fine right now, so quit your belly-aching!"

"Speaking of belly-aching", Evelyn suddenly chimed in, "when are Spike and Faye going to sleep together?"

Faye blushed a bright magenta, and began to splutter, "W-what the hell is _wrong_ with you?"

Julia's cross voice rang out behind Evelyn, "Yes, just what the hell _is_ wrong with you?"

The blonde rolled her eyes, returning sarcastically, "Well, if it isn't Miss On-the-Rag." When all Julia could do was gape in absolute disbelief, she continued, "What I meant was, those two are always at one another's throats so, from what I've gathered from my own personal love life, much sexual tension is afoot. I merely thought that it would do them both a lot of good if they had a little 'get-it-out-in-the-open' screw. Wouldn't you agree, Jules?"

Rayne snorted, her laughter barely contained. "Ooooh..."

Julia, on the other hand, did not appeared to be the slightest bit amused, and neither did Spike, for that matter. He was turning all sorts of different shades of red, not to mention his bottom lip was quivering with an emotion that could not quite yet be deciphered.

"What is _wrong_ with you?", Julia repeated dumbly in a hiss barely above a whisper, her cold blue eyes only turning more subzero with each passing second. "How _dare_ you suggest such a thing! Spike and I are in love!"

Rayne stood up and stretched. "Well, we'd best be leaving. A reaaal bitch fit is about to begin!" Rayne motioned for Jet to follow her out of the room.

The balding man appeared to be faintly engrossed, yet nonetheless managed to pull himself away, Evelyn calling after him, "What, no popcorn, old man? I thought for sure that you were about to at least cook a TV dinner!"

Jet blushed, yet said nothing.

"Shove it, Evelyn!" Rayne yelled, and continued to walk away.

The blonde, however, wasn't the slightest bit phased. Turning her attention back to Julia, she urged venomously, "C'mon, slut...why don't you go ahead and ask your precious lover whom he'd rather lay? You...or Miss Valentine?"

Julia let out an indignant snort, only to exclaim hotly in response, "Spike would _never_ touch that dirty tramp! Isn't that right, honey?"

Spike looked around, then sighed. Either way he answered, he was going to be killed. He opted to stay silent for the sake of his life.

When he didn't reply, however, this only infuriated Julia even further. _"You!",_ she barked, pointing toward Faye with a trembling finger, _"You_ are the cause of all this! What have you done to my Spikey-poo?"

Faye suddenly burst out laughing, falling onto the floor and holding her sides."Spi-Spikey-poo? That's worse than what Ed could come up with!" She continued to hold her sides, one laugh after another coming out.

"Oh!", Julia exclaimed, by now pink in the face, "you-you shut up! _Now!"_ She stamped her foot.

Evelyn, meanwhile, took all of this in in utmost amusement, nudging Spike in the ribs before questioning appraisingly into his ear, "Wow, all of this attention over you? Who woulda thunk it?"

"I have you know that all women like me", the cowboy returned haughtily in response, sending a slight glare in her direction. "Everyone but you, yet I'm not complaining."

The blonde grinned. "Well great! We're in agreement, then! I wouldn't touch you with an STD-infested eight and a half foot pole!"

Spike grinned back just as Ed dropped down onto his head. "Spikey-Poo, Spikey-Poo, stuck his head in nasty doo-doo!"

Sighing, the mossy-haired young man pushed the kid off, muttering, "Get lost, Ed...I'm in the middle of watching a cat fight."

"Ooh, cat-cat meow-meow hiss?", the redhead questioned, blithely clapping her hands in response. "Can Ed watch, too?"

"Suuure, why not?", Spike returned dryly, propping his chin on his fist as his gaze drifted back to Julia and Faye. "I won't say who will win, cuz if I'm wrong, I'm a dead man. Hell, if I'm _right,_ I'm a dead man."

"Ed! Ed, c'mere!" Rayne called over to the redhead, only to then stick her head in the room. "Holy shit, Ed shouldn't be watching this!", she exclaimed, her interest secretly peaked by the fighting girls.

Evelyn shrugged. "Maybe it'll toughen the kid up...so she'll be more like me."

"Ugh, you're right, Rayne...get her out of here", Spike suddenly chimed in, smirking once the blonde gave him a vicious punch in the arm.

"I should", the blue-haired woman agreed. "Hmm...Ed, if you come with me, I'll bake you some yummy chocolate chip cookies!" Rayne bribed, a sweetness in her voice that she saved for Jet and Edward only.

"Ohh boy, alright, Ed will help you all day, all night!", the redhead chortled erratically in response, immediately diving off of the couch cushions and somersaulting toward Rayne before another word could be said.

Blinking, Spike stared down at the empty space that had only moments before been occupied, then shrugged it off before turning his attention back toward the unfolding battle site before him.

"He's _mine!",_ Julia screamed, grabbing Faye by the hair before giving her a good shake. "I found him first!"

"Agh! Let go, you bitch!" Faye kicked forward, hitting Julia in the thigh.

"Ow! You stupid ho!", the blonde screeched, giving her a rough push that caused the vixen to hit the floor with a dull 'thud'.

"Ouch", Evelyn commented from the sidelines, handing Spike something that she had retrieved from her pocket. "M&Ms?"

"Please", he agreed, never taking his eyes from the sight before him as he reached out to take some of the treats.

Faye kicked out yet again, this time catching one of Julia's heels and tripping her as well. She let out an almighty chuckle when the blonde landed flat on her face.

"Stupid bitch! Pulling my hair is the worst thing you could do!", Faye stood up and bellowed, only to start kicking Julia in the side.

Deciding that this had gone on long enough, Spike suddenly leapt off of the couch and seized Faye from behind, his hands accidentally straying down to two soft places where his hands shouldn't have been.

_Oops..._

Faye stopped immediately and slumped forward.

She had fainted.

At first Spike's ego told him that the vixen had loved his accidental touch so much that she had possibly orgasmed and _then_ fainted, yet his more practical sense immediately realized that it was just the latter.

Cursing, he lifted her up into his arms, urging, "Quickly, Julia...help me get Faye into her room!"

"Ha! In your _dreams!_ That minx hurt me, yet you're more concerned with _her _well-being? Unbelievable!", the blonde growled, angrily dusting herself off as she stood up and to her feet.

"No questions! She might have a freaking concussion because of that fall she took! I'll take care of you later", Spike returned coolly. "But if you won't help, maybe Evelyn will?", he added, only to grin over at her with an almost pleading look.

"Sure, why not?", the blonde assassin agreed, crumpling up her now empty M&Ms wrapper before tossing it over in front of Julia's feet. "Take care, Jules...I've got some 'community service' to attend to."

Glaring after the trio as they headed toward Faye's room, Julia merely hung back with her fists shaking at her sides, her left eye twitching ever-so-slightly. "Mark my words, Faye Valentine, this is the_ last_ time that you will get the best of me, because next time I won't be so merciful!"  
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So, how was that? You can tell us in your review! Love ya!


	4. Mr Seduction

Title: Competing With Ms. Perfect

Authoresses: Gunsmoke and Cigarettes

Summary: When Spike returns with his angel, Faye feels that she always pales in comparison to Ms. Perfect. Can she prove to Spike that she can be otherwise?

**A/N: **Dudes, sorry for taking so long! Nothing much to say, really, except REVIEW!

Disclaimer: We, the beautiful authoressess, do not own Cowboy Bebop. Shit...

**CH 4: Mr. Seduction**

It had been three worrisome days under the close and watchful eye of both Spike and Edward, yet once the modern day Sleeping Beauty had awoken, there was one recipient within the Bebop whom was terribly displeased. By this, of course, it was none other than Spike's 'loyal' betrothed, Julia Rasmuessan.

As fate would have it, Spike had pleaded with his blonde angel to watch over Faye so that he could go out and buy some supplies. Being the 'generous' woman that she was, Julia had agreed in a heartbeat--possibly two, since she had to think twice about it.

So now, as Julia continued to sit cross-legged in the chair by Faye's bed, she began to unceremoniously file her nails while the 'patient' was staring up at the ceiling like some lame vegetable.

_What a bore!_

"This is stupid," The wench (in Julia's opinion) complained, fistfuls of her cotton blanket in her tiny hands. "Get Rayne or Evelyn in here! Even _Ed_ will do!"

"Oh? Am I not exciting enough for you?" Julia gave the vixen a bored look.

"A fucking_ cloud_ is more exciting," Faye returned dryly, sneering before sitting up and swinging her legs over and onto the cold, metal floor below. "I'm out of here."

"Hey!", Julia called, thoroughly agitated, "'Doctor Spike' says you can't go anywhere til he comes back!"

"Fuck Spike! God knows you do it already!", Faye shrieked, hiding a grin as she continued toward the door. Julia was going to get in _sooo_ much trouble for this.

Julia, however, didn't fall for the bait. Instead, a perfect grin adorned her blood-red lips as she agreed smugly, "Yes, you're quite right...I _do_ fuck Spike. Bet you're jealous, huh? You're here _all_ alone while Spike and I are entwined amidst the throes of passion...I love it when he moans my name. He once told me that I'm the only one who ever knew his pleasure spots." She grinned wickedly.

"Well, you've slept with enough men to know their so called 'pleasure' spots. Hell, he might even be moaning in_ pain,_ for all you know," Faye remarked calmly, yet on the inside, she was burning to punch the blonde right in the nose. Suddenly smirking, she added smugly, "Oh, and you said he told you that only once? Guess you're not in your prime, then, huh?"

Julia snorted. _"I'm_ the whore that's slept with thousands of men, huh? With those fake boobs on your chest, you look as if you _own_ whores, let alone work on the street with them!"

"Honey, you're just mad that you don't have a body like mine. And by the way, these are real. Just ask Spike, he knows," Faye purred, her jade eyes fluttering.

"I _do,_ huh?", a deep, sensual voice questioned from abaft, thus causing the two women to whirl around in astonishment.

"Spike!", Julia exclaimed, immediately rushing into his arms before giving his cheek an affectionate kiss. "I was beginning to worry!"

He smiled. "What, that I wouldn't bring home any food?" Turning his attention back to Faye, he demanded sternly, "What are you doing out of bed?"

"Julia let me go," Faye replied meekly, her cheeks turning a delicate rosy hue.

"I most certainly did not! The bitch just got up and left while I tried to stop her!", the blonde growled, her cheeks now growing rosy, as well.

Spike merely drooped. "Can't you two ever stop fighting? If I wanted all this drama I'd go see a frickin' play!"

Faye crossed her arms, suddenly being very defiant. "Well, I'm not going back to bed! You can't force me by any means necessary, Spike Spiegel!" She glared at him, almost asking him to try and oppose her.

Before he could even reply, Julia took him by the chin, urging in a sultry purr, "If she won't go to bed, _we_ can."

Faye clenched her arms and closed her eyes tightly. Oh, how _dare_ that stupid bitch suggest something like that!

Spike appeared to be interested, yet upon spotting Faye's face, however, he immediately cleared his throat and disengaged himself from Julia's embrace. "I'll tell ya what", he began casually, "you go to bed and I'll meet you there later."

Julia smirked in triumph. "Ok, love lumps." She kissed his cheek, then sauntered off toward the galley.

Faye's eyes opened and she burst out laughing. "LOVE LUMPS? Oh my _god,_ Spike! You are_ sooo_ whipped!" Her little bout of hysterical laughing lasted while Spike blushed.

"Shut up! You're just jealous that you don't have a man!", he growled, his left eye twitching ever-so-slightly. "At least _she_ loves me! You've got nobody, Water Balloons!" He smirked when she stared at him in confusion.

"Water balloons? You mean these?" She motioned toward her breasts in confusion.

He grinned. "Yep...I'm waiting for them to pop at any given moment." To further emphasize his point, he reached out and poked her smack-dab in the breast.

Faye giggled, then glared at him. "Do I have to remind you that your girlfriend is in the other room?"

Spike smirked. "Maybe you really _are_ a slut...you didn't even slap me when I touched your boob." He did it again to further prove his point.

"Spike! Will you _stop?",_ Faye growled, only to giggle once more. She couldn't help it; it _tickled!_

"You know you like it", he teased, placing his lips at her ear before adding smugly, "I know you want me...you talked quite a bit in your sleep."

"I-I did _not!",_ Faye barked, slumping onto his shoulder; her knees terribly weak.

Spike chuckled, the low rumbling in his chest vibrating against her own bosom. "Are you willing to bet your life on that little white lie you just made?"

"Hmm?" She purred, the intoxicating scent of Spike too much for her to make sense of anything that he was saying.

The mossy-haired cowboy couldn't help but smirk upon realizing her current disposition, his lips curling up even further once he decided to see how far he could take this. After all, his original intention wasn't to seduce the incredibly annoying vixen, yet it was starting to get rather interesting...

Running a hand along the small of her back, Spike asked huskily into her ear, "Is this really the place to be doing this, Faye? I always had a feeling that you'd be one of the naughty ones, but this really isn't in my taste..."

"Ohhh, _Spiiiike!_ What's taking you so long, my darling little booga-boo?" Julia stopped dead in her tracks in the middle of the hallway, a black nightie adorning her features.

"Oh...Julia!", Spike exclaimed, pushing Faye away so hard that she fell against a nearby door. "I, uh...was just looking for you!"

"In Faye Valentine's _ear?",_ the blonde seethed, her features contorting so that she suddenly resembled the witch that she truly was.

Faye was rubbing her back, finally awakened from her daze. She let a small whimper of pain slip out before raising an eyebrow, then she smiled seductively at Spike.

He groaned inwardly, fore she wasn't helping the situation. At _all._

Circling Spike let a lioness on the prowl, Julia questioned heatedly, "What were you and Faye doing in the hallway when I came out? Care to explain?"

"Uuh..."

"No, better yet...let _Faye_ tell me", she immediately interjected, sending them both hateful glares. "At least _she_ won't mince any words!"

Spike winced. This was going to be _bad.  
_  
Faye looked around nervously before saying, "I came onto Spike. Looks like he was so intoxicated, he forgot all about you!" She regained her fire halfway through the explanation, licking her lips.

"Oh? Well he seemed awful sober when he came home!", Julia pointed out, her eyebrow beginning to twitch dangerously.

"I mean he was lost in the essence that is Faye Valentine." She smiled haughtily at Julia before standing up and taking off her robe. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go take a shower. See ya."

Faye flung her robe at Spike, who caught it, smiling. She walked down the hall, clad in a black bra and matching panties.

Spike coughed, his mismatched eyes subconsciously trailing after her lithe form before Julia haughtily clobbered him in the stomach. _"Oaf!"_

0000000000000000000

Evelyn flipped through the channels to the vidscreen in the commons, only to stop upon a steamy love scene. "Ah,_ here_ we go!", she praised enthusiastically, only to lean back in her seat and sigh. After a few moments of severe scrutiny, however, she became thoroughly disgusted. "Those are _so_ fake."

"What're fake?", Spike demanded, just then entering the room. "Have you seen Faye?"

Evelyn ignored his question, yet responded by wriggling her eyebrows. "Last time I checked, she was still in the bath tub...wanna give her a _rub-a-dub-dub?"_

Spike choked. "You're disgusting, you know that?"

"No...just perverted", the blonde corrected, laughing gaily at his priceless expression. "If you hurry, you might still get to see her naked."

"He missed his chance already, Evey. Faye's in her room singing." Rayne was leaning against the doorway, watching the two of them with mirth.

Shooting her a glare, Spike sank down next to Evelyn, asking yet again, "What's fake?" He eyed the vidscreen, wincing as he heard the woman's moans of passion.

Evelyn smirked at his expression, replying rather forwardly, "Her boobs, stupid...nobody's got 'em that big unless they're store bought. Unless, of course, _Faye's_ are real...ever ask her?" The blonde laughed loudly, then offered Spike her bowl. "Popcorn?"

Accepting them, Spike popped a few kernels into his mouth, frowning as Rayne leapt over the couch and landed with a 'plop' as she sat next to Evelyn. She laid her head on her shoulder, watching as the woman's voice increased yet another octave.

"By the way, Spike," Rayne said after the couple had finished, "I think Faye's are real. I mean, people have even bigger breast sizes, and they're natural."

Spike's cheeks reddened. "Why should _I_ care? It's not like I asked!"

"No, but your eyes were sure dying to know, as well as 'Mr. Happy' down there", Evelyn insisted, grinning slyly as she motioned toward his nether regions. "I bet Faye would be more than happy to show you, Spikeroni. I think she likes you!"

Rayne giggled, whispering, "Faye would kill me if she ever found out that I told you this, Spike, but she's in love with you! Isn't that _great?"_

The mossy-haired cowboy uneasily scratched the back of his head, then shrugged. "Um...I guess?"

Evelyn gave him a rough nudge to the ribs. "If you don't talk to her, I'll go all 'killer assassin' on your ass, so go! _Now!"_

"Wait!" Rayne cried, stopping him by leaping onto his back. "Do you love her, too? Or are you going to break her heart?" Spike was struggling to get her off his back, so Rayne grabbed him by his hair, yanking it roughly.

_"Answer_ me!", she roared.

"I'm not going to her! I'm going to my goddamn fiancee!", Spike growled, swatting at her hands so that she finally let go.

Rayne gripped his hair more tightly, thus stopping his movements yet again. "Ok, Spike, we're either doing this the easy way or the hard way. The easy way is letting me ride on your back until we go to Faye's room so that I'm sure that you're going to talk to her. The hard way is me breaking both of your arms in three places. Choose now."

Spike's eyes widened. "Lady, are you fucking _insane?_ I don't love her! If anything, it's lust...and..._God,_ I'm engaged to Julia!"

"You can call me insane, or I can break your arms. Spike, _choose!"_ To further make her point, Rayne dug her heel into the back of Spike's knee.

"OW!" Gritting his teeth, the mossy-haired cowboy finally relented grudgingly, "Ok, _fine_...I'll talk to her!"

"And then some!", Evelyn added, laughing jubilantly on the sidelines. "Man, if I'd have known I'd need so much popcorn for your entertaining little show, I would've made some more!"

"Evelyn, you're not helping!" The angry navy-haired woman cried, yanking Spike's head back three times. "WALK!"

Grumbling, Spike did as he was told and entered the hallway, only to stop in front of Faye's bedroom door. After he had knocked, however, it was quite clear that the vixen was terribly surprised to see him with Rayne on his back.

"Hey", he greeted lowly. "I know this is really stupid, but will you help me get this fucking monkey off my back?" He let out a growl of pain when Rayne yanked his hair.

Faye smirked. "Well...why don't you just ask her nicely to get off?"

Spike appeared to be rather bewildered, yet nonetheless asked rather begrudgingly, "Rayne...will you _please_ get off of me?"

"Sure, sweetheart! All you had to do was ask!" Faking an innocent smile, she yanked once on his hair before getting off. "Bye!"

Glancing after her retreating form with slight irritation, Spike then turned back to Faye and smiled weakly. "Do ya got a minute?"

"Sure, just let me slip into something appropriate." She closed the door in his face, humming.

Groaning, Spike briefly found himself wondering why on earth he was doing this, yet remembered Rayne and Evelyn and the hell they would put him through and sighed. It just wasn't fair...

Opening the door again, Faye stood outside modestly. The black tank top clung to her curves nicely and the jeans she was wearing were very appropriate. "What is it, Spikey?"

He winced._ "Spikey?_ Is that the manliest nickname that you can come up with?"

"It was either that or Spike baby. Your choice." She grinned up at him, her cheeks flushing.

"Why not Sexy Man, or Afro Thunder?", Spike teased, leaning against the doorjamb before folding his arms. "After all, I gave you the cool nickname Water Balloons, so the least you could do is return the favor."

"Yeah, like Water Balloons is flattering. Ok, Afro Thunder, what can I do for you?" Looking at her nails, Faye fought to hide her nervousness.

Spike smirked, immediately taking note of her feigned nonchalance. "Can I at least come in, first? Don't want the 'ol ball and chain to find us again."

Faye laughed, taking his hand and tugging him into the room. Closing the door behind them, she motioned to her bed or vanity desk. "Sit anywhere you like, but don't touch anything..._personal."_

Spike blinked. "P-personal? How do you mean?" To be honest, he was afraid of what she might say...

"Underwear, girl stuff..other things.." She deadpanned, not looking at him.

"Oh."

Scratching his cheek, Spike then flopped down onto her bed with a subtle bounce and decided to make himself comfortable. Lying down, he crossed his legs and stared blankly ahead at the ceiling.

Faye joined him on the bed, not daring to lay down. "So..are you going to say anything?", she asked hesitantly, tapping her fingers on her lap.

Spike eyed her boredly. "Should I?"

"You're the one who came into my room for something, Spike! Don't question me!", she shrieked, losing her temper and stomping her foot like a defiant little child.

"Oh...guess you're right", he agreed dumbly, deciding that playing the fool was his safest option.

Slowly sitting up, he cracked his neck, then regarded her with emotionless eyes. "About earlier...why didn't you stop me?"

Faye stayed silent, fiddling with her hands. "It felt nice," She said quietly, "being held in someone's arms. That was all."

"I know the feeling," Spike agreed, "but I know you, Faye...you're a terrible liar." With that said, he couldn't help but grin. "What really sends off the warning signals is that your eyes always get really wide and your lips tremble."

"I'm surprised you pay attention to me", She said softly, a small smile playing on her lips.

Spike smirked. "Don't get cocky...you're Faye Valentine, remember? Everybody notices you, and you make damn sure of it."

"Yeah, and you're Spike Spiegel. Always playing the anti-hero and rescuing the damsel in distress." Smirking back, she added mentally, _Which I usually play._

"Yeah, well at least I don't go to pieces if I'm touched, like you did earlier this morning", Spike pointed out, smirking before laying a hand upon her thigh. "I bet you're quivering inside right as we speak."

"That's what you think," She bit out, desperately trying to hide a sigh of delicious passion.

"Yeah?", Spike fished, beginning to trace his thumb along her knee cap before resting it upon her upper thigh. "Your body language tells me otherwise." He smirked as her cheeks flushed a delicate crimson.

She looked at him, stunned. He really wanted to play the seduction game with her?

Faye grinned widely, then fluttered her eyes sexily.

Let the games begin!

Noticing her sudden eagerness, Spike withdrew a little, yet kept his cool. She'd go down...he was sure of it.

Running his hand up along the flat plane of her stomach, the mossy-haired cowboy held his breath before cupping her breast and bringing his lips to her ear like earlier that morning. "Still feel like you can fend me off?" He was now breathing uncharacteristically heavy.

Faye kept her cool, massaging the back of his neck. "I'm positive, Afro Thunder", She replied huskily, unable to keep the laughter withdrawn from her voice.

"What's so funny?", he demanded, unable to keep from sounding so agitated. In the process, he accidentally squeezed her breast harder than he would have intended.

Letting out a yelp of pain, Faye pushed him off of her, wincing in pain.

"Um...sorry?", Spike apologized, only to hold his hands up in surrender as if he sensed the oncoming onslaught. When none came, however, he immediately looked up with surprised eyes.

Faye was leaning towards him, and suddenly she brought her hands to the back of his neck and crushed their lips together.

Ah, the bliss of the first kiss.

Spike immediately pulled away, more so out of surprise than disgust, only to smile a pleased smile. "Told you you wanted me", he revealed smugly, only to bring his lips to the hollow of her neck. "Does Julia have to know about this?"

"I dunno.." She whispered, tangling her fingers into his hair.

"Where do we go from here?", Spike demanded, grinning mischievously up at her before beginning to play with her suspenders. "Do we continue, or walk away and forget this ever happened? I'll be nice and let you choose."

Letting her eyes close, Faye began to feel tears bubbling up. _Not now,_ her mind cried desperately,_ I don't want Spike to see me crying..._

So, Faye did the worse thing she could do.

She cried.

Spike blanched. "Wait...what the hell's the matter with you?" He hadn't meant to sound so insensitive, yet it completely threw him off-guard.

"I-I...I'm _so_ sorry, Spike!" She cried, burrowing her face into her hands.

"Um..." He blinked, now growing considerably uncomfortable. Raising his hand to her face with a severe amount of awkwardness, he tried yet again, "What's wrong? Am I that amazing of a lover that you just couldn't take it?"

Letting herself giggle, Faye continued to sob. "No! I just don't want this to be a one-night stand, Spike. You just don't understand..." Her voice was muffled because of her hands.

Spike sighed, then allowed his head to flop back against the floor. "You're right...but if you want me to stop, I'd suggest removing yourself from my body. It's a turn-on." He grinned unabashedly up at her blushing face.

Faye stopped crying and just moved to lay on top of Spike. "Mind if we stay like this?", She whispered, an embarrassed smile on her lips.

At her plea Spike couldn't help but smile, as well. "Nah...it feels kinda nice."

**00000000000000000000000000000**

Sorry for being gone so long, folks! Well, the sooner we get a whole bunch of reviews (Thanks, by the way, I love you!) the sooner we review!

Signing off,

The-Infamous-Bounty-Hunter and Kendra Luehr.


	5. The Anniversary

Title: Competing With Ms. Perfect

Authors: Gunsmoke N Cigarettes

Summary: When Spike returns with his angel, Faye feels that she always pales in comparison to Ms. Perfect. Can she prove to Spike that she can be otherwise? SxF.

**A/N: ** Wow! It's only been about a month and two weeks since we last updated! That's like, a record, or something! Ok, peeps, this is the one chapter we know you've been waiting for! It's the continuation of the last chapter, you know, when Spike and Faye were going to do it, but didn't? Weeeelp, you'll be suprised in this chapter! I'll shut up now, so you'll see what I'm talking about...-hehehehe..-

Disclaimer: Nope, nada, zip, zero, um another word for nothing...Well, Gunsmoke N Cigarettes does not own Cowboy Bebop. DUH!

**EXTREME WARNING: THERE IS AN UPCOMING LEMON. BE WARNED!**

**---------------Chapter 5: The Anniversary--------------**

Faye watched from the corner of the doorway to the living room. She was engrossed-well, not engrossed, maybe grossed out- as Julia straddled Spike in the yellow chair.This sent her fuming. That was _her_ yellow chair, god damnit!

"You know what tonight is, _Spikey-poo_?", Julia suddenly questioned, snaking her tongue down along his ear before giving his neck a quick kiss. "Uh...August 8th?", Spike supplied, shrugging helplessly as his lover continued to bestow his cheek and neck with fiery kisses. Once this response was made, however, she immediately stopped.

"August 8th?", she repeated, by now thoroughly irate. "August the **_fucking_** 8th?" Spike swallowed. "Um...yeah?"

Screaming, Julia seized him by the lapels of his jacket, hollering at the top of her lungs, "August 8th is our bloody anniversary, Spike! Why else do you think I'm dressed up like this?"

"Um...so I'll sleep with you?", Spike supplied, helplessly shrugging his shoulders. "I mean, it's clearly working, cuz boobs are God's way of letting men forgive women for-"

"Shut up!"

"Ok."

Faye sniggered happily, poking her head around the steel door. "God Julia, too _bad_ Spike's forgot your anniversary!" She said in a sing-song voice, watching the color rise up in Julia cheeks with pleasure.

"He didn't! He's just being ignorantly stupid! He is a man, after all!", the haughty blonde shot back in utter irritation, pinching Spike's ear before pulling him up and to his feet.

"OW! Julia, what the hell?", he growled, rubbing his sore ear before glaring at her with contempt.

"Just shut up and get dressed! We're going to the Blue Marlin for dinner!"

Spike's jaw dropped. "The Blue Marlin? Jesus, Julia! I'm a bounty hunter, not a fucking brain surgeon! How am I supposed to afford all that?"

"That's not my problem...you can get money from the whore over there", Julia quipped quickly in response, smirking over at Faye before giving a flip of her wavy blonde hair.

"I wouldn't mind lending Spike money...He would just have to owe me," Faye licked her lips seductively, "a _yummy_ _treat_."

Julia felt the color drain from her cheeks. "You **_would_** say that, wouldn't you, you whore? Come on, Spike...let's go."

Giving Faye a curious look, the mossy-haired cowboy felt his face flush, yet he stuffed his hands into his pants' pockets and followed Julia into the docking bay. One thing was for sure, after this night was through he'd be running from the tax collectors for the rest of his life.

At the Blue Marlin

"I'll have the lobster, followed by your most excellent wine!" Julia exclaimed with a flourish, handing the cheap paper menu with the fancy french writing back to the fake french waiter.

Groaning, Spike muttered under his breath, "And I'll have a water...seeming that's all I _can afford_."

When the waiter took off with their orders, the miserable cowboy leaned back rudely in his seat and propped his chin on his fist.

"_Spike_," She snapped angrily, "You have to look dignified in this kind of joint! Sit up straight, you _lazy_ bum!"

Groaning, Spike pulled himself into an upright position, then rolled his shoulders forward and nursed the complimentary water that every table received before their order. "So this is...nice", he ventured feebly, wondering why on earth he was allowing himself to bleed away all his money for the one night he most likely wasn't going to get laid.

"It is," Julia agreed, her hand creeping up to rest on his. "You know, if you treat me _real_ nice tonight, I'll give you the best suprise in the world..." She fluttered her eyelashes in a manner she thought was sexy, which was not.

Spike's eyes lit up. "**_No way! You won the lottery_**?"

"NO!" She snarled, smacking her head with her palm. "I meant SEX!"

"Oh! Ooh!", Spike conceded, smacking his own head before letting out a chuckle. "Wow! Ok, that's awesome! In fact, why don't we just go ahead and go to that hotel I booked us right now so that I don't have to pay for the meal?"

"Eh?" Julia sent him a bewildered look and her tone was laced with growing anger.

"I mean...well...", he took her hand lovingly in his. "I know this means a lot to you, Julia, but I'm a cheapskate. See what I'm saying?"

"Yes..." Julia trailed off somewhat softly. She then realized what he meant and roared furiously at her aloof boyfriend, "WHAT ABOUT THE DAMNED WEDDING?"

Spike blanched. "_Wedding? W-what wedding_?"

"Our wedding! I'm your fiancee, remember? Or did you forget that too!" Julia heaved, her face a putrid red.

Spike felt his face flush like hot coals, the primeordial part of his brain reminding him that Julia wasn't just a sex toy, but someone who he'd have to wake up next to for the rest of his life. Suddenly it didn't seem all too wonderful.

Coughing, Spike returned breezily, "Nah, I was just messin' with ya, baby! I love you! Um...very, very much!"

That seemed to calm the beast and she replied softly, "Say it again."

"What? I love you?"

"Yeah," Julia's blue eyes sparkled and she cupped her hands over her heart.

Laughing uneasily, Spike returned as smoothly as if he'd been saying it all his life, "Julia...I love you. And I always will." _Yeah, right_.

"Let's go, Spike...I wanna give you something at that hotel you told me about.." She winked and trotted off.

Finally smiling his first true smile of the night, Spike inwardly commended himself, 'Way to go, Spike-O! You totally nailed the whole 'I love you' thing...who knew you were such a frickin' good actor?'

Following after his blonde angel, the mossy-haired cowboy grinned to himself as he envisioned all the wild, kinky things she had planned for him. Maybe he'd finally get to use his _handcuffs_!

"Excuzi, sir!" Spike was stopped by the waiter with the fake french accent.

"Uh...wee?"

"You haven't paid your bill! C'est la vi, where you planing on leavin?" He asked, his accent switching from french to american to french again.

"Uhh...the lady's paying", Spike replied, motioning over to the oblivious Julia by the exit. "So yeah...um...ask her."

"EXCUZI! MADAME!" The waiter let out an earsplitting shriek, waving furiously as he walked towards her.

"Um...what?", Julia demanded, absolutely bewildered.

"You must play the bill or else you'll be washin the dizhes!" He exclaimed, poking her in the chest with a limp dishrag.

Julia blanched. "What? But my fiance's paying the bill!", she exclaimed, pointing back over to Spike.

"Who, me?", he demanded, suddenly scrunching his features up in confusion. "_Lady, I don't even know you! What are you trying to pull_?"

"**I-SPIKE SPIEGEL! DAMNNNN YOU**!" She shrieked as the waiter pulled her into the kitchen by her hair.

Grinning to himself, Spike shrugged, only to suddenly stop short. "Dammit! _My sex_!"

Groaning, the mossy-haired cowboy stepped out of the club and into the night life, hunching his shoulders forward as he began the journey back to his zip craft.

"_Ohhhhhh Spike_!" Someone called to him and this averdeted his attention to the lovely vision in black that was running up to him.

"Uh...hi?", he returned, not sure what to make of this sudden intrusion.

"Hey, where's the bitch?" Faye asked, panting slightly.

Spike drooped. "I lied and said I didn't know her, so she's washing dishes to make up for our bill at the Blue Marlin." Noticing her outfit, he questioned curiously, "What are you doing out here, anyway, all in black like that? Were you trying to spy on me, rob a bank, or what?"

"Well, this is just a jacket. I was going to spy on you at the Blue Marlin, but it seems I got here late." She smirked, "Ol' blondie's washing dishes because you scammed her? I'm rubbing off on you!"

"Don't scare me into going to church", Spike gibed, smirking before suddenly frowning, again. "Shucks...I lost 50 woolongs on the hotel we were supposed to stay at, tonight. I guess I should go there anyway, though, since...well...no use in wasting the room."

"Can I come?" Faye piped up, sending him a side-line glance.

Spike blinked, shocked. "You want to..._wha_?"

"Well, Evelyn's on a date with some guy which means I'll be bored, Jet and Rayne are either making out on the couch or fucking, and Ed is currently sleeping in my room. I need a place to go.." Her eyes pleaded with him desperately.

"Ew...gross", Spike commented, shuddering to himself about the prospect of his partner and the blue-haired chick making babies on his freaking couch. "I always wondered why women would want to sleep with him...do you think they like the metal arm? I mean, it could-"

He stopped upon spotting Faye's disgusted look. "Yeah, you're right...nevermind. But yeah, I guess you can come."

"_YES_!" Faye let out, cupping her mouth in embarrassement after she realized what she said. "_I-I mean, let's go_!"

Raising an eyebrow, Spike shrugged, then waved his arm as an indication for her to follow. "It's just up the street...the ad said if we can make it by 10:00 we get 10 woolongs shaved off the price."

Rolling her eyes, it wasn't until that very moment that Faye realized how much of a cheapskate Spike was...

The Starlight Hotel

"Hallo! Two?", the overly-boisterous desk clerk asked as Spike and Faye entered the hotel in a timely fashion.

Faye stood quiet, obviously frightened by the man's enthusiasm for them. "Go ahead, Spike..You have the reservations!" She whispered.

Sighing, the cowboy sidled up to him, acknowledging as politely as he could muster, "Uh, yeah...hi...Spiegel for 2."

"**Ah, jes**!", the foreigner acknowledged, laughing to himself before smacking a key onto the desk. "**Vould jou like any condoms, per chance? Zhey make the world have good sleep**!"

"WHAT?" Faye blanched, stomping her foot in suprise. "Oh my god, this is _so_ not happening!"

"**So zhat ees a no**?", the man demanded, his bottom lip protruding ever-so-slightly. "**Vow! You must be a zuperman, then, no? If you can just unload een her vithout any cares**!"

Spike choked. "What? God, no way! Just gimme the damned keys!"

"GRAB THEM!" She screamed, dancing hurriedly off to the elevators. "_What floor? WHAT FLOOR_?"

"_Uh...t-two_!", Spike stammered, shakily seizing the keys before grabbing Faye by the arm and pulling her toward the elevator.

"**Vow**!", the man called after them, "**you really are a zuperman! Look at you go! You cannot wait to get your hands on each other, no**?"

"_Ahhhh_!" Faye shrieked in horror, cupping her ears. "**_Make him stop_**!"

"I can't!", Spike growled, pulling her into the rather unsanitary-looking elevator before pushing the button to floor 2.

Once they were safely inside, they both breathed in, then exhaled before slumping simultaneously against the rusted finish.

"So that was...interesting", Spike muttered, swiping a hand over his face just as the elevator stopped. "And look...here's our floor. Yay."

"Yay indeed." Faye muttered, following after him. Her eyes locked onto his ass for some reason and she was hypnotized by it.

Completely oblivious to the 'sight-seeing' going on behind him, Spike whipped out the key and approached good 'ol room 202, which had most of the second '2' missing. As soon as the door swung open, they were greeted by a musty, dingy little room that smelled of mothballs. Regarding Faye with a tight-lipped smile, he quipped rather sarcastically, "Well this is certainly..._charming_."

"Ah, charming...yes." She murmured blankly, wondering how tight his boxers looked on him...

Noticing her gazing longingly toward his nether regions, Spike demanded, "What the heck are you staring at, Faye? You look like you could burn a hole in my pants!"

"I-What?" Faye asked, her eyes clearing. She began to blush furiously, but she didn't try to hide it.

"Uh...nevermind", Spike mumbled, shutting the door behind them before tossing his jacket over into a nearby chair. "I'm actually really tired, so I think I'll be going straight to bed. You coming?"

"Bed? Oh, sure.." She trailed off, slipping off her own jacket and flinging it onto the floor. Now with the jacket gone, it revealed a very revealing black glown.

Spike hadn't noticed that she had her hair up, but now that he did.._wow_.

"Uh...so you think Jet actually put the _boobs_--I mean, moves on Rayne, huh?", the cowboy asked as casually as he could, trying to hide the fact that a certain male part of his anatomy was beginning to misbehave.

"Probably. I mean, he was planning this for a loooong time." Faye slipped out of her dress, now clad in a black bra and a thong.

"Please don't let my lingere distract you," She deadpanned, noticing his advent staring.

Spike snorted, immediately turning his back to her before unfastening the buttons to his yellow shirt. "In your dreams, Faye Valentine...I've seen better."

"Oh? Who's that? Your fiancee who is currently washing dishes where you left her to take the fall?" Faye shot back, trying to guilt trip him.

Spike stiffened, yet it soon passed and relaxed, again. "Nope...the days before her", he muttered, removing his shirt so that it fell over his toned shoulders and down to the floor. Muttering choice words under his breath about 'nosy women', he then turned his attention toward his pants.

Faye stared unabashadly at his butt as the pants slid down his butt. Oh, she loved a guy in boxers!

Passing a hand through his shaggy mop of curls, Spike muttered something yet again, but this time jumped onto the creaky mattress and curled up under the covers. Noticing Faye just standing there, he added lowly, "I guess you can come in, too..."

Inwardly, Faye cried for joy. She wanted to be in a bed with Spike ever since that little incident in her bedroom. She jumped in and began to hog the covers.

"Ow! Dammit, Faye, that's my leg!", Spike growled, tugging viciously in order to reclaim the stolen covers as they rolled about and ended up becoming entangled in one another's arms. "Dammit...OW!"

Again, Faye was quiet, realizing that her legs had somehow become wrapped around his waist.

Spike was now also quiet, but for a much different reason. He feared that she felt the slight hardness between his legs and would laugh at him.

"I-sorry." She murmured, brushing the green curls out of his face lovingly.

Spike smirked, yet he didn't move. "You don't seem too sorry to me...typically women like to express their apologies." His eyes slowly strayed down from her lips to her chin, neck, and the ample curve of her breasts.

"Some men make it a point to stare in a girl's eyes, you know." Faye cupped his chin in her lithe hands and forced him to look in her eyes.

Spike suddenly turned serious, his garnet orbs mellowing out before he returned lowly, "Men who do that are suckers cuz they might find that they fall in love with those eyes...that they're pulled in and are trapped forever." Coughing, he suddenly felt his cheeks redden, inwardly grousing, '_Aw, God, did I really say that? How freaking lame_!'

Faye, however, found it enchanting and endearing. '_He loves me! He just admitted it I think.._.' "Wow," She breathed, her eyes closing in utter rapture.

Spike smirked. "What, did my corny little speech make you swoon?"

"More than you'll ever believe," She whispered, tangling her hands in his hair.

Spike swallowed, then closed his eyes as he inhaled her intoxicating scent of jasmine. "_Oh, God_", he groaned, squirming as he felt himself only stiffen more so than before. "Faye..._are we gonna_..._I mean_...?"

_"Spike,"_ Faye moaned, grabbing his chin once more and kissed him.

_'I guess that's a yes',_ the cowboy thought smugly to himself as he felt their lips dancing lightly to their first kiss. When Faye moved away, however, he immediately pulled her back, delving his tongue deep within the cavern of her mouth in order to taste her inner sweetness. _God,_ she tasted wonderful...

Breaking the intimate kiss, Faye burrowed into his neck, panting. "Are we going to take this farther, Spike? I want this_ so_ badly..."

Letting out a light groan over having broken the contact, the cowboy managed to look her in the eyes, then touched her face. To him she had never looked more beautiful than at that very moment, her silken locks masking her face so that her jade eyes peered out at him through a shroud of mussed violet.

"I'll only do this", he finally relented, "if this is what you and only you want..."

"I want this...but will you still look at me the same way in the morning? Will you pretend this never happened?" Her eyes welled up with unshed tears, the hurt and question shining through.

Spike frowned, truly never liking to see a woman cry. "The truth is, Faye, I don't know", he admitted, "but I know what I feel now...and...it's indescribable. If I'm gone in the morning, I know then that I'm the cold, insufferable asshole that everyone claims me to be, but if I'm still here..." he fondly took her hand in his, "...then I love you."

She let out a gasp. Never had he sounded so...loving, so caring. "I love you, too." Faye cried, throwing herself on top of him, forcing them to roll over and for her to be on top.

Surprised by this sudden display of emotion, Spike laid there beneath her, thoroughly stunned; especially by the predatorial sheen within her glinting eyes. "Faye?", he asked, uncertain.

"I love you," She whispered, kissing him with a fiery passion.

Spike felt something burning within his heart as he ravaged him with her mouth, his own body quickly responding to hers as he pulled away and smirked. "I don't think this is the right order of things", he revealed, grinning before seizing Faye about the middle and wrenching her around and beneath him as before. Nipping at her ear with his teeth, he breathed huskily with satisfaction, _"Much_ better..."

"Oooh. _Someone's_ excited," Faye teased, giggling when Spike's face heated up.

Finally tossing his manly pride aside, he relented, _"You have **no **idea." _

This response seemed to shut the astonished vixen up, his strong, calloused hands gliding along her torso until he reached around and unfastened her bra. Kissing along the expanse of her pale, silken neck, he moaned deeply into her flesh, a smile of satisfaction slipping across his lips once he rolled his thumbs over her tingling nipples and received a soft squeak as his reward.

_"Now_ look who's excited", he returned smugly.

"How do you expect me to react?" She demanded, still as defiant as ever. "Want me to scream, 'It hurts!', over and over again?"

Spike grinned. "Nah...that'll come later. Shall I continue?"

"If you want.." Faye replied cattily, quite thrown off by his obviously dominance over her.

Spike smirked. "Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer..."

Capturing her lips in his own, Spike ran a hand down along the smooth plane of her chest and down along her navel, a chuckle rumbling through his chest once he felt her tense upon reaching the hot center between her legs.

Faye, deciding that she had enough of being the guinea pig, pivoted her body up and wrapped her legs around his waist, preventing any access. "Uh-uh, Spike. Save that for later," She grinned at him wolfishly.

Spike visibly winced, his manhood swollen and pressing longing against her thigh; it was quite clear that her sudden movements had only succeeded in further agitating the enflamed organ. "Faye..", he pleaded weakly, gritting his teeth,_ "please..."_

"Nope! First, you have to kiss me...maybe then I'll let you," She sang, enjoying the agitation on his face.

"Fine", Spike agreed, "if it'll get you to stop talking."

Smirking due to the look on her face, he eagerly pulled her down for a slow and drugging kiss, his tongue lightly running along the soft expanse of her lips before he moaned deeply into the moist cavern of her mouth. The vibrations of his vocalized lust tickled and awakened something deep within the vixen, yet Spike wouldn't let her regain control, again.

Proceeding to bestow her cheek, neck and breasts with several warm and passionate open-mouthed kisses, he stuck his tongue out and ran the fire of the organ up along her stomach before wrapping about her nipple and pulling it securely into his mouth. "God, Faye...", he gasped about her breast, _"mmm..."_

"Ok, ok..." Faye moaned in ecstasy. "You can have your way!"

"I knew you'd agree", he whispered raspily against the heat of her flesh, gently parting her thighs with his free hand before stroking the now moist material of her scanty lingerie.

"Oh, you bastard..you don't even have your boxers off." Faye gripped the sides of the bed uneasily.

Spike smirked up at her, then guided her hips down toward his enflamed manhood and forced her to grind against him, his face masking his pleasure to the best of his ability as he gritted his teeth and began to dry-hump her through his clothes. "Fuck, Faye...", he gasped, biting her shoulder in order to quiet his cries of passion, "oh, God..."

Faye couldn't keep her own cries out as she began to beg him in a pitch that was higher than her normal tone of voice. "Please! Please, Spike!"

"Please what?", he ground out, gritting his teeth as he rolled her breasts between his fingers and nipped at her already swollen lips.

"Please make love to me!" She begged again, totally giving herself to him, not holding back at all.

Smirking, Spike flipped her back beneath him, then slowly looped his fingers beneath her thong. "Are you sure?", he questioned, teasefully rubbing his knee against her soaked panties.

"Do you want to have sex or not?" Faye screamed, half from passion and hate for her green-haired lover. He was going to drive her to the brink of insanity if he didn't do anything!

Spike smirked, returning with amusement, "Well that's a silly question, don't you think?"

Never removing his eyes from her lust-filled gaze, the cowboy kissed slowly down along the expanse of her torso, his fingers deftly removing her thong in one full swoop. Feeling her breathing heavily beneath him, Spike smirked, then dove under the covers and began to assault her womanhood with his tongue, his lips wrapping about her sensitive nub before beginning to moan against her sex.

"_I..hate..you_!" Faye yanked at her hair as she fought to keep herself cool and composed. She was not going to scream his name out. Not yet..

Smirking, Spike blew gently along her womanhood just to further agitate her, his long, slender fingers suddenly gliding down along her stomach before teasingly tracing along her moist entrance. "Hmm..._should I_, or _shouldn't_ I?", he asked, slyly applying pressure to her clit before placing a lone kiss over her navel.

"It's all up to you.." Faye had finally controlled her breathing and now had an angry glint in her eyes.

"Spike Spiegel, I am soo mad at you!" She barked, yanking him up by his hair.

Ignoring the pain in his throbbing temples, Spike merely chuckled, stopping her incessant rambling with a kiss that caused her to taste herself on his lips. Feeling that he had teased her long enough, Spike finally took Faye's tiny hands in his own and guided them toward the hem of his pin-striped boxers. "Go ahead", he urged, breathing heavily, "do what you want..."

"I'm not one for..." She looked away, ashamed at her actions.

"Oh..." Spike suddenly appeared to be embarrassed. "I didn't mean...I meant...uh..."

"I'm sorry..It's my fault..I just had a bad experience with a dick before..." Faye grinned at him shyly.

At this Spike couldn't help but laugh. "What, did it call you a mean name?" Noticing the look in her eyes, however, he stopped, then shook his head. "Sorry...I shouldn't have."

"It's alright. You didn't know..I'm sorry I brought down the mood." She smiled and drew him in for a heavy kiss.

Moaning against her lips, Spike returned breathily, "Hardly..."

Reaching down himself, this time, the cowboy slowly shucked himself of his boxers, his desire finally released from its cloth prison as he nestled himself in between her legs and rested the enflamed organ against her navel. "Oh, God", he gasped, "I'm not sure how much longer I can last..."

"I'd say pretty long. You know what they say about tall, skinny, lanky guys.." Faye winked, the blush coming back to her cheeks.

Spike chuckled, his garnet orbs now a kaleidoscope of different emotions: mirth, amusement, lust, and something else that she couldn't quite decipher...

Feeling as if he could no longer prolong their union, the mossy-haired cowboy gave one savage thrust of his hips and grunted once he impaled the vixen to the hilt, his curls slightly falling into his line of vision as he began to vigorously pump in and out of her being with all that he had, their passion rapidly escalating as both fought to be the last to come.

"Oh, Spike! I don't think I can bear it any longer!" Faye cried, reaching out for his hands blindly.

Clasping her tiny appendages in his own, Spike held her hands by either side of her head, using this as a sort of fulcrum to assist in the erratic hammering of his hips, his moans catching in his throat as he pressed his mouth passionately against her own and prepared for his final meltdown.

"Faye", he gasped, panting heavily into her ear, "Oh, God, Faye...ugh..."

"SPIKE!" She yelped as she reached her climax, her voice reaching new heights. "I love you!"

Letting out a guttural cry, Spike tensed up and poured his seed deep into her awaiting womb, Faye's inner walls contracting spasmodically about his manhood before coating him with her sweet love nectar.

Gasping for breath, the cowboy wearily disengaged himself from their point of union, his eyes closed as he shakily collapsed beside her onto the bed.

"That was **wonderful**," Faye gasped, snuggling against his body in a loving manner and throwing one arm over his torso protectively.

Spike smirked, a rumble of agreement passing through his chest cavity as he returned smugly, "Well, glad you enjoyed it...most women pass out before they climax. _Congratulations_ for pulling through."

"Mmm..What's my prize?" Faye quipped, her hand making swirling motions on his side.

"I dunno...we'll figure something out", he assured her, smirking before giving her bottom a pinch. "I wonder if Julia's finished with those dishes, yet?" At this remark he laughed.

"Oh, I am!" Julia screamed from the doorway, her usual hair straight and perfect, but it was disheveled and covered with suds.

Spike shot up in bed as if he were attached to a spring, regarding his fiancee' with large and fearful eyes. He was in _deep_ shit...

**-----------End Of Chapter-----------**

**So, how was it? Hopefully you guys liked the lemon! We hope it wasn't _too_ raunchy! Well, review! **

**The-Infamous-Bounty-Hunter and Kendra Luehr 3!**


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